O Happy Dagger
by Metatron85
Summary: "O happy dagger! This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die." Jade is on the edge and only two people can help her. One is her secret true love and the other knows just how far she will go to silence the pain. Jori.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Rest assured, my crossover is still happening. I just had this idea pop up and I didn't want to rush through my other story because I wanted to get to this one.**

**As always, please follow and review. I love to hear from each and every one of you.**

* * *

Adrian stood up in the circle, putting his hands together.

"Everyone," he beamed. "We have a newcomer this evening."

Jade stared down at her feet, focusing on the silver loops her laces ran through. She hoped that if she pretended not to see or hear them, she would disappear.

"Oh come, on…"

No such luck.

"You're among friends," Adrian looked at Jade.

"It's okay, sweetie" an elderly woman put her hand on the dark-haired girl's knee.

"Can you at least tell us your name for starters," Adrian offered.

"Jade," she said just slightly above a whisper.

"Hello Jade," the support group said in almost perfect unison.

"Anything you want to share with us today?"

Jade shook her head.

"It's alright," Adrian's eyes looking concerned. "Next time. You can just listen and get to know the group." He looks around the circle and points to a tall man with a goatee. "Scott, how have you been progressing?"

"Okay," the man addressed at Scott responded. "I have been doing well with your exercise of taking out my notebook and writing down positive thoughts every time I get the urge."

"That's terrific. Thank you. Everybody, let's join hands and show our new friend the affirmation."

Once again, they spoke in unison:

**_I cannot always control my life_**

**_But I have power over my death._**

**_I will use my hands to create_**

**_And not destroy._**

**_Especially myself._**

**_We will not allow the darkness to break us_**

**_But use it to appreciate the light much more._**

Jade watched the chant and everybody sitting down again. She heard the other speaking their peace until the session was over but not really listening. She was just periodically watching the clock for it to end.

Her hand had this nervous habit of going underneath the sleeve and rubbing her arm. Jade couldn't help but notice the raised lines that were all over. She stopped at the really big one (which still had bandages on it) at the wrist.

Jade's dad found her in the bathtub with one of his old-fashioned straight razors. Her already delicate complexion turned a severely dangerous white contrasted with the dripping crimson around her.

Jade had been cutting for a couple years in secret, only caught once or twice, but she never crossed that threshold of trying to kill herself until that fateful summer night.

It drove Jade' parents crazy because they didn't know why she was doing this to herself and it depressed them too because she was a fiercely independent girl and it was only a matter of time that she would obtain the opportunity to do it again.

And this time, nobody would find her in time. Her mother knew that Jade would make sure of that. People don't think about much suicide attempts. They believe that a person who is feeling down is asking for help. Once they are "stopped," then the healing can begin. Jade was one of many who nobody considered to not only capable but determined to end their life.

Frustrated, the Wests enrolled Jade into a therapy group. They haven't had luck in the past with typical psychologists. Perhaps hearing other people like her that went through what she is going through as opposed to somebody reading out of a book was best for her. They have heard nice things about this "Arms to Hold" group. A few veterans have not only made it through their troubles but have turned to start their own support organizations.

"Hey, sweetheart" Jade's mother stood up and hugged her daughter whose arms remained down the entire time. The two of them never got along but since the divorce, she has become more pleasant and Jade has…an easier time with her.

"Can we go now?" Jade softly asked.

"Sure," she took Jade by the hand and caressed her thumb against her knuckles. "Are you tired? Do you want something to eat?"

Jade shook her head. "Not hungry, mom. Thanks."

"Okay," she looked around nervously. "Then let's just go to the car."

"Fine," Jade followed her outside the municipal center.

* * *

"Hey mom," Jade looked up from her bed. "Where are my pens."

"Away. Use your laptop, okay?"

Jade shrugged and took out the Pearbook and began typing out words to a poem she has been working on. A part of her understood her mother taking those ballpoint pens she preferred using away from her. Under the circumstances, it was probably not the worst idea. But just because Jade understood why didn't mean she had to like it.

After hitting save, Jade read it over from start to finish, or rather where she stopped. She bit her lip and deftly closed the computer. Sliding it under her bed and turning off the nightstand light, Jade got underneath the covers.

She rolled to her side and took out a photo from under her pillow. It was from when her and her friends went to the beach. She stared at the happy people. Well, one in particular. Not even aware of how Jade was looking them. Jade squinted her eyes and allowed the waterworks to flow freely.

It wouldn't be the first night she would cry herself to sleep.

Jade longed for the day when she wouldn't have to wake up and face her crumbling world.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks so much for your nice words about the beginning. Keep'em coming, please!**

* * *

Since she broke up with Beck, Jade had been reticent from interacting with their circle of friends. Part of the reason was they gravitated towards Beck who was clearly a more easy-going type. But the biggest thing that held Jade back from the others was Tori Vega.

Jade was standoffish (and some would say downright antagonistic) toward the half Latina. Her jovial demeanor and all around "can-do" attitude towards…everything is intoxicating. People fell under her spell and she became fast friends with the students at Hollywood Arts. All except for one.

While on the surface she told Tori time and again how much she annoyed her, Jade actually harbored a deep fascination with the girl. What compelled her to seek her friendship in particular? Her approval? Her affection? Jade didn't understand what Tori's deal was and for the longest time she responded to these confusing feelings with hateful words and actions.

Jade was tired of Beck and boys like him. But the more she thought about it, boys were becoming less interesting for her in general. She never thought of herself as gay or at least bisexual. There have always been girl crushes but they started to focus less on celebrities and more on everyday people. Or, rather, one everyday person.

Tori's fierce loyalty was evident with each passing day. How she forgot the previous day's transgressions and acted like there were no hard words exchanged between her and Jade.

After a while, Jade realized she was growing more and more fond of Tori. While she had succeeded in getting over herself in allowing the smiley girl into her life, Jade was reminded on a nearly daily basis of how much Tori was out of her reach. On and on, she would gush about some guy but none of them would ever stick. They were typically a flavor of the month. Some of them, such as Steve Carson and Ryder Daniels downright hurt her.

Jade had taken shots at Tori in the past but when it came to matters of the heart, she took things damn seriously. And it disgusted her deep down how she was being used by Daniels, for example, though she was too immature to admit those feelings. Now that Jade has articulated these feelings towards Tori, she became protective of her. There was one jerk who tried to put the moves on her and she rebuffed him and left. The boy would return to find his car's wheels all punctured by, from the look of the holes, a pair of scissors.

But after going out with guy after guy, creep after creep; it became more apparent to Jade that Tori would rather keep getting used, abused and rejected than perhaps give girls a shot. Perhaps, Jade? She shook her head because she knew that was an impossibility. The pain of being reminded of never being able to have and hold Tori made Jade sick. Very sick.

She has resorted to cutting with simple razorblades like the kind for box cutters. A fresh box would yield about twenty of those sharp rectangles. After a session (when she felt she purged herself enough) Jade would discard the spent blade into the trash. Maybe her subconscious worried about infection. Ironic, kind of like the alcohol swab before a lethal injection.

For a couple years, this suited Jade. The welts on her stomach were easy to hide but the colder months were preferable because despite living in California, nobody questions long sleeves in January. The summer (bikini season) was the hardest time. The itch to release this sadness on her body was insane. She found solutions for that, such as behind her neck which was obscured by her long hair or the inside of her thigh.

Tori was going out with this one guy named James Hinckley. The two of them courted for about 18 months and when he proposed to her that they would marry after high school, Jade was plunged into a whirlpool of despair. That was that. She would never have her. Ever.

Jade had explored the meatier parts of her body, avoiding serious injuries that would result in a visit to the ER. But this wasn't about feeling better. This time she needed to be removed from the situation. She couldn't stand to see Tori spend the rest of her life with someone else. It was simply too much.

She drew a cold bath which she figured would numb her body completely. And with a couple clumsy passes, Jade finally initiated the devastating blow to her main cables in the wrists and dropped her arms into the tub. The clear water became more opaque and then, dark. Jade ignored the pounding on the bathroom door. But soon the haziness made it easier for her to disregard the world around her. She didn't hear the door being kicked in nor her father's screams of horror. She did not see the inside of the ambulance nor the emergency room.

Jade didn't know if she was becoming pure energy or just nothingness. Either way, it meant no longer being on a planet where Tori Vega and Jade West could never be together.

* * *

The "urge," as it was called in group, returned periodically. Adrian advised that if it was becoming more frequent, then Jade should try the suicide lifeline. She was thinking she was going to be handed a phone number but apparently every facet of society has gotten with the times. This helpline was a private chat room.

It was a public forum with private messaging functions. The way it made itself attractive was it was open to all social networking platforms. Not keen on remembering lots of different passwords and usernames, Jade used the same handle for all online activities, from Twitter to The Slap. She logged on and connected with the "life support" people.

**_ScissorLuv:_**_ Is anybody out there?_

**_Serenity041:_**_ Do you need someone to talk to?_

Jade hesitated on the keys for a minute. The username for the other person made her want to vomit.

**_ScissorLuv:_**_ Yes._

**_Serenity041: _**_I'm listening, friend. Sometimes that can be a very powerful thing._

**_ScissorLuv: _**_What?_

**_Serenity041:_**_To listen. It might make you feel better._

**_ScissorLuv: _**_I don't know about why I feel this way._

**_Serenity041: _**_To end it, you mean?_

**_ScissorLuv: _**_Yeah. _

**_Serenity041: _**_What makes you think there is no way out of your problems?_

**_ScissorLuv: _**_The problem is how to get in. I love her more than anything and I can never be with her. She would never see me that way and besides she's already seeing someone._

**_Serenity041: _**_People can break up._

**_ScissorLuv: _**_Not this time. You don't understand…I can't live without her. I never had her before but now that I experienced her, I can't go a single day without seeing or hearing her. _

**_Serenity041: _**_You should tell her how you feel before you miss your chance._

**_ScissorLuv: _**_It's already too late. This was a mistake._

* * *

Robbie Shapiro slumped back into his chair, watching the troubled teen log off.

"Jade," he muttered to himself. "What's happened to you?"


	3. Chapter 3

_**You guys have been great with your reviews! I loved every one of them. I will try to PM those I haven't yet. Been pretty busy.**_

**_hope you enjoy this one!_**

* * *

_I didn't even know she felt that way about girls,_ Robbie thought. _Who was she talking about? _

_Cat? _

_They're tight, but…No, she hasn't really been seeing anyone so why all this talk about it being too late? _

_Tori?_

_Jade had been avoiding her more so than usual. Could she be the girl? She had been getting real hot and heavy with that James guy. They're planning to get hitched after graduation. _

When Robbie first signed up as a volunteer for this help line, he was given various kinds of scenarios to combat with the different kinds of people he would encounter. None of them discussed about what to do if turned out to be someone you knew. What's more, should he get directly involved?

If he tells Tori about what's going on, she might feel embarrassed, Jade will certainly be humiliated, and he could possibly bring down a relationship. Despite how Jade was feeling, it wasn't his place to drive a wedge between what Tori and James had that year and a half.

There's always Jade. He could talk to her but doing that scared him. Even though she basically poured her heart out, Robbie was still apprehensive of the dark-haired girl.

But what's the alternative? He couldn't live with himself if she goes through it and takes her own life. Robbie let out a big sigh and looked at Rex sitting in a chair against the wall.

"I got nothin'," the puppet said.

"You're a lot of help," Robbie rolled his eyes.

* * *

Jade closed her Pearbook, exiting herself out of the site.

This was the very first time she admitted her feelings about Tori to anyone. Even Cat was in the dark and they were best friends. She remained silent at therapy, though she was listening more than just counting the seconds. That night, something was different. Having those feelings bubble to the surface and pass her lips was more of a catharsis than any encounter with the unforgiving steel.

She didn't cry herself to sleep. Not that night. Not for a while.

Jade also didn't see the desire to cut all of a sudden. Instead, she used whatever spare time she had to think. She was weighing her options. Yes, Tori was in a committed relationship but like the person on the chat said, people do separate. She broke up with Beck numerous times before that last one became permanent.

She remembered that day. Tori was walking with a couple of students from her singing class and they were working on harmonies. Jade and Beck were looking at the passing females. Beck's face turned to horror when he saw Jade looking but he relaxed when he realized she wasn't looking at him with anger. She, too was checking out someone. Their eyes met and there was just a dawning revelation. This followed a long bout of them not going out formally on a date nor "fooling around."

"Are we over?" Jade asked.

Beck countered with another question. "I think we have others in mind, don't we?"

Jade nodded slowly, looking at her feet.

* * *

Jade thought about talking to him. Sure, he was her ex but first thing, he was always straight with her. She decided to do this plan of hers in phases. First she was going to come out and he was to be the first. Little did she know that someone from her network is already privy to her secret. Or, secrets.

She waited by her locker after sending him the text to meet her. Jade cleared her throat and sweeped her eyes for any tears just in case when she heard the footsteps.

Beck looked at her concerned. "You okay?"

"Not really," she folded her arms. "I need to get this weight of my chest and so far you're the only one I trust with this information."

"To not do anything with it?"

"No," she glared at him. "To keep it to yourself. I need to know how you'll take it before I tell the others."

"I'm all ears," he dropped his bag, getting ready to strap in for a long one.

Jade was on the verge of hyperventilating from the sound of her breathing. Once it evened out, she spoke. "Beck, I'm gay."

An almost two-minute silence festered between them. Jade couldn't handle it anymore.

"Well, say something!"

"How long have you been…"

"I don't know…I guess it's like they say, you're always what you are but society tries and tries to program you. It just seemed easier to go with the status quo."

Beck took her hand, "There's nothing wrong with what you're feeling. Love is love, right?" A brief image of Jade in the throes of passion with another girl peaked his interest but he brushed that away. Now was not the time for that kind of thinking.

"You're not mad, Beck?" Jade's eyes were about to unload.

"You know, not really." he smiled.

"I feel like I strung you along these last months…"

"Hey," he hugged her and then looked at her in the eye. "It would be one thing if you were in love with another guy. I'd be racking my brain about what I did wrong or what. I would have been mad because you weren't being honest with me. But this…it's about being honest with yourself. And after hearing about what my uncle had gone through, it can't be easy out there. I understand."

Jade kissed him on the cheek and touched the other with her hand. "Any girl would be lucky to have you, Beck Oliver."

"I just decided a long time ago that you need to listen to your heart and tell it what it wants."

Her eyes pulled away from him.

"That's the problem," she said sadly.

"Jade, who is she?"

She ran away.

"Wait, is it somebody I know?" he shouted but she was already out of sight and not coming back.

"Hey, Beck?" Robbie emerged from around the corner of lockers.

Beck looked around, "You heard?"

Robbie nodded. "Yeah."

"You know she'll kick your ass if she finds out you've been eavesdropping."

"I'm more worried about Jade than myself. I was actually on my way to talk to her when I found you two."

Beck thought for a second.

"Talk to her about what?" Beck asked sternly.

Robbie sighed. He clearly had something on his mind.

"My car, now." he pointed to the exit and Robbie followed.


	4. Chapter 4

Jade entered her house, dropping her bag. She noticed a yellow post-it on the fridge. Her mom asked her to straighten up because she was running late. Dinner was in the oven.

She fixed the couch, ran the vacuum, and was about to take out the trash when there was a knock at the door. Jade almost collapsed backwards when she saw who was standing there.

"Jade? Can I come in?"

Tori. She was crying. Still is.

"Yeah, sure" Jade stepped out of the way and opened the door further and Tori entered.

Tori wiped the tears from her eyes, her breathing was sporadic. "I'm sorry, were you busy? I didn't mean to…"

Jade gripped Tori's forearms. "No, it's okay. What's wrong?"

"It's James. We had a fight."

"Sit down," Jade gesturing to the tan sofa. "Tell me what happened."

Tori stroked hair in front of her face back, her already beautiful brown eyes shimmered from the tears. Jade couldn't think those thoughts right now; Tori was hurt and she had to find out why.

"Tori, what did you fight about?"

"I found out that he took pictures of me."

Jade's eyes widened. "What…kind of pictures?"

Tori gave her a look. "We slept together. Once. Told him I was saving myself but since we were going to get married, I thought it would be okay."

"Go on," Jade put her hand on her knee.

"I sent him a text earlier today and he never responded. So when I met up with him I checked his phone to see if he really got it because sometimes the reception at school sucks, right?"

Jade nodded for Tori to continue. She was listening intently.

"That's when I accidentally stumbled on these pictures of me. It must have been when I fell asleep and I didn't have my clothes on."

She shook her head. "That isn't right. Even if you were going out." Jade's tone was damn serious. "But wait, how did you see those pictures if you were checking his messages?"

Tori gripped her hair like she was going to tear it out. "Because they were recently sent…to his friends, I don't even know." She doubled over and cried heavily.

Jade ran her hand up and down her back. "I'm so sorry, Tori. What happened when you told him about it?"

"He got defensive and he yelled," as Tori leaned further Jade couldn't help but notice a black and blue mark when her shirt rode up.

"What is that?" Jade pointed.

Tori looked behind and quickly covered it up. "Nothing. It was an accident."

"Tori…"

"I confronted him about the pictures, he just meant to give me a nudge and I hit the doorknob."

Jade stood up. "Fuck that, Tori! You don't need this!"

"Jade, it's really okay."

"No, it isn't."

"I overreacted."

"You overreacted? Are you mental?" Jade took Tori by the hand and stood her up. "Listen to me. You are Tori Vega. You can have anyone you want. You certainly can do better than this creep. We all fell for it but when you saw those pictures and what happened afterward, he showed his true colors."

"What am I supposed to do?" Tori cleared her throat. "Break off the engagement? Walk away from over a year and a half?"

"Seriously?" Jade folded her arms. "My parents divorced after thirteen years of being together. Believe me, it's much easier for you."

Tori fell back onto the couch again. "It's just so messed up," she began sobbing again.

She out her head down and put her feet up. Once in the faced position, Tori faced the back of the couch. Jade checked the clock and went to heat up dinner. When she returned from the kitchen, Tori didn't move from her spot. Her heart went out to her. Jade felt guilty at this moment. Had she offed herself, she wouldn't be there to comfort Tori right now.

At this moment, for the first time in a long time, Jade felt necessary. It meant something for her to be alive. being there for Tori was enough for Jade to summon the strength to suppress "the urge."

Jade sat beside Tori, with her head in her lap. Stroking her hair, she felt a soothing calm wash over her body. There was no tension. She was being affectionate for the first time with Tori and there were no objections.

* * *

After sitting there for a while, periodically checking on the oven, Tori sat up looking like her face was dry and couldn't produce any more tears.

"Thank you Jade," she smiled a small smile. "For listening."

"Well, you did the same for me."

"But Beck was a good guy." Tori thought about that awkward night with the broken kite. "Why _did_ you guys break up?"

"You mean the last time?"

Tori nodded.

"I realized that even though Beck was really great, he wasn't what I wanted. I mean, it's possible to like somebody and for them to still not be your type."

Tori grabbed one of the bottles of water Jade brought out the last time she came from the kitchen. "And what is your type?"

Jade breathed slowly through her pierced nostrils. She couldn't help but look right at Tori when she answered. "Long hair, dark eyes, beautiful skin, can fill out a dress better…"

"Oh," Tori drew out that single word. "I see now. Batting for the other team, are we?" she smiled.

Jade stretched awkwardly. "I would like to."

"Have anybody in mind?"

"Well, actually…" Tori realized that at some point during the conversation she started to hold Jade's hand. Jade realized that she was leaning. Butterflies occupied her stomach and they weren't being docile.

A ringtone drove a wedge between the girls. Jade cursed herself and took out her Pearphone.

"What?"

Jade ran to her window and peered through the blinds. She grinded her teeth.

"What the hell are you doing here?...What?...Just me and Tori, why?...UGH!"

Jade hung up and saw Tori staring at her from the sofa.

"I'll be back. I have some pests outside."

Tori watched Jade as she exited out the front door.


	5. Chapter 5

"What?" Jade shouted at Beck's car window. He was used to it but Robbie flinched and let out a yelp.

"We need to talk, Jade" Beck told her with all seriousness. She used to hate how stern he would get when he needed to talk about something. But right now it was beyond irritating because of her time with Tori was being interrupted.

"About what?" her hand rested on the roof of the car, impatient.

"Tell her Rob," Beck nudged him.

He fiddled with his glasses like he usually does when he's nervous. "Well, it's um…about your…prob…"

"Spit it out!" she yelled.

"Jade," Beck took over. "How long have you been depressed?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I know what you've been up to," Robbie said softly. "The real reason you wear long sleeves…"

Jade pointed at them both. "Don't even finish that sentence. You don't know what you're talking about!"

"We're worried about you, Jade" Beck chimed in. "Even if you don't give a damn."

"I'm going to go back inside and pretend that this conversation never happened. Once I know Tori is okay, I will look outside and better not see you here anymore. And do yourselves a favor…don't fucking talk to me!"

She shifted her gaze squarely on Robbie.

"And you."

"Me?" Robbie pointed at himself.

"Let me guess, you're Serentiy041?"

He looked at the floor.

"I'll take that as a yes. Yee-hoo, you got a little dirt on me. Better not find out you told anyone else than Beck."

Jade stormed away.

Beck winced at what just happened. "Had that going a little differently in my head."

* * *

Jade's heart sank when she came through the door and into the living room only to find Tori had gone. A single tear escaped her socket and traversed her cheek.

The timer of the oven went off and Jade pulled out the green bean casserole. She was looking forward to inviting Tori to have dinner with her. She knew it was one of her favorites but her mom barely made it anymore. She hadn't done much cooking lately , period.

She set the foil pan down in the middle of the kitchen table and lights one of the two candles she put on the table in a lapse of better judgment. At the time Jade didn't care. Even if it was only a date to her, it was dinner alone with Tori and maybe she could entertain the fantasy of pretending this was their house.

Jade shook her head at such silly notions and sat down at a place setting that was across from an identical one on the other side. She had a few bites of the concoction of green beans, cream of mushroom soup and crunchy onions on top. It was delicious but she quickly lost her appetite. Jade wrapped up the casserole and put it in the refrigerator.

She laid on the couch with her knees up, so she could surf the net with her laptop. Jade normally would browse blind through YouTube and would usually settle on a fist fight at some fast food joint to cheer her up but she wasn't in the mood this time. Instead, Jade began typing. Her heart was overflowing with so many emotions and she needed something to purge them.

The one razor blade taped to the back of her nightstand drawer was tempting but she resisted. Every time she stopped typing, the feeling would start all over again so she kept going. Before Jade knew it, she had more than ten pages of stream of consciousness writings until finally falling asleep.

* * *

Jade woke up on the couch with a blanket over her. She quickly remembered her laptop and rushed to her feet but spotted it on the coffee table. It was off. She panicked for a minute as she turned it on. Her breath was released when everything she had written was all there. Luckily, her mom was apt enough to blindly click "Yes" to save.

She checked the time and realized there was only a half hour to dress and get ready for school. No time for a shower.

Jade needed to find Tori. she had to make sure she was alright after just disappearing without a word the night before.

But she experienced a disturbing déjà vu when she saw no sign of Tori. Jade noticed the elder Vega walking through the halls. She set her eyes on her and confronted her.

"Hey!" Jade called out.

"Ugh," Trina groaned. "What do you want, freak show?"

"Where's your younger, I mean better, sister?"

Trina crossed her arms. "And what business is it of yours?"

"Don't fuck with me on this, Vega!" Venom dripped from her lips. "Where is Tori?"

She sighed and put her hands on her hips. "Fine. She's at home. She's not feeling very good."

Jade's features softened. "What? What's wrong?"

"That dirtbag boyfriend of hers, since you want to know. Do me a favor; if you see him, clock him one."

"Don't worry," Jade said as she walked away.

* * *

The sandy-haired James Hinckley leaned against his locker, laughing with one of his buddies.

"Hey Hinckley!" a girl's voice shouted from behind his back.

Before he could react, the boy was laid out on the floor. His friend split once he recognized the girl as Jade West.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry for this chapter being very short but the next chapter gets really, really heavy and I felt it was best to have it stand alone. **

**Welcome aboard Sylkia Whacamolia. By the way, we all feel your pain. One day more and ****_Victorious_**** is gone. **

**Say it isn't so **

**:,-(**

* * *

Jade rested her fighting hand in a fry boat filled with ice from Festus' truck. She sat by herself but only briefly. Trina sat with her food beside the wounded warrior.

She shoots the elder Vega a sharp glare, "You know, my other hand feels left out."

"I come in peace, West." She drank a bottle of water. "Man, I was only half serious when I said you should pound that asshole."

Jade shrugged, "Seemed like the right thing to do. Still does."

"Didn't break your hand, did you?" Trina asked.

"Nah," she shook her head. "It'll be fine. Just needs to take it easy. Only lay out petites for a while."

Trina chuckled but her mood suddenly shifted when she reminded herself of something she needed to get off her chest.

"Jade, I know we've never been anything remotely close to friends. In fact, it was far from pleasant whenever we were together. I think your exact words were 'Nobody likes you'."

The dark-haired girl scrunched up her face at that reminder. "Yeah…"

"But you were there for Tori and that meant a lot to me, believe it or not."

Jade looked right at her.

"There's something you need to know," Trina continued.

"What?"

* * *

Tori stacked a fourth small box on top of her growing tower when she caught a glimpse of Jade entering her room.

"What's going on, Tori?"

"James and I broke up," her voice was devoid of any feeling. It broke Jade's heart to see the bright Tori Vega like this. Like her.

Jade nodded. "Okay…so…"

"Jade, I can't stay here."

"Why?" her eyes widened with shock.

"God, I'm mortified. Did you know that those pictures of me went viral?"

_That bastard. I thought he was low but never thought he would stoop to this. _

"But you were only seventeen when those were taken. He could go to jail, right?"

Tori shrugged, "That's what dad said. And he is making sure of that but damage is done. Once a photo is uploaded, it never goes away."

Jade began to understand the ramifications. "Tori, I…"

"I mean," Tori's tears flowed like a destroyed dam. "Everything is ruined! There goes all my plans, all my dreams. With these damn pictures, everybody has seen me. I feel so violated. So betrayed." She looked up at Jade.

Truthfully, Jade couldn't handle those hurt eyes staring right into her own confused ones.

"Tori," she managed. "You can't turn your back on your life here. Your friends, your family, me…" she caught herself. "I mean, your dream of being a pop singer."

Jade almost lost all feeling in her legs when Tori took her hands. "Thank you, Jade. You've always been brutally honest with me. I appreciate your lying to make me feel better."

"But…" Jade shook her head. "I wasn't…"

"I got to go. I need to pick up more packing stuff."

"But," Jade ran down the stairs after Tori.

She went through the front door and looked back at the sad blue-green eyes. "Bye, Jade."

When the door shut, the sound of the slam and lock clicking were eclipsed by the cataclysmic noise of her heart shattering.

Jade tugged hard at her hair.

_This can't be happening._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm just warning everybody right now. This gets pretty intense. Anyone who is concerned over triggers may want to skip this one and just PM me for a summary. The details might be too much for some.**

* * *

It's been a week since Tori had gone.

She transferred to some no-name high school across the country. She was living with her Aunt Nina.

Jade had thought that seeing Tori with somebody else would be the worst possible torture but she never anticipated not having her in her life whatsoever. No more hanging out at Nozu's like they did on their first "mock date." No more performing. Jade had always saw herself as a writer; maybe an actress. But Tori showed her that it was very invigorating to get up on stage and belt it out. Jade rarely, if ever, sang alone. It was usually with the comfort of Tori or Cat.

Cat, that was another thing. Most of everybody, in fact. The whole gang was just inconsolable. Jade had no one to talk to because she desperately wanted to feel a little better but everybody else was as bummed out as her. Well, maybe not as much as her.

The Latina had brown on the girl who dressed like a Goth but was far removed from any convention or cliché.

Jade stopped going to group. They called her parents. Adrian expressed his concern. Mrs. West explained that her close friend had moved away. She had no idea that her daughter valued this girl more than simply a friend.

She just sat up there in her room day after day. She couldn't sleep. She wouldn't eat. If anybody called or texted, she would just disregard it. Jade West had officially shut down.

* * *

It was like she was in a dark hole her whole life. Every so often the light would penetrate the surface and it would blind her. Naturally, she would resent the light for making her hurt but over time, she grew accustomed to having it shine in her face. One day, someone came along that not only would show her the light but help her climb out of her hole.

The hole had been deep and nobody was strong enough to lift Jade out. But this one person was able to delve deeper than the others and was strong enough to carry her weight. Then something happened. Her strength began to falter and before Jade could realize, she slid back into her subterranean prison.

From that moment forward, the little shafts of lights wouldn't return. Jade spent the rest of her days in total darkness. Her salvation from the dark had gone and she was all alone. Jade couldn't let the light shine if she wanted to because the only person that _made_ it shine was gone forever.

* * *

Jade grabbed her stomach; the pain was too great. Starving herself was by no means helping the matter. She doubled over herself, crying from the pounding in her guts. Her heart ached and she couldn't allow her body to continue walking his planet as an empty vessel.

Rolling on the floor in total agony, she was haunted by the memories of being near Tori; smelling her and touching her. When she told her she was pretty it was in total sincerity even if her pride couldn't let the words come out in such a way.

And when Tori called her pretty in return; well, it was a nice delusion.

Looking at the scissors from that movie staring at her in that clear case, the ones Cat gave her at Christmastime, Jade knew what she had to do. She got herself to her feet, snatched the case and smashed it into a million pieces on the hardwood floor. Seizing the scissors, Jade retreated to the bathroom and locked the door. This time she barricaded it with a chair from her room.

Nobody was going to stop her. Not this time.

Jade didn't turn on the fixture or anything. She didn't need the sound of the running water to give someone downstairs the signal. She laid in the empty tub and looked at the reflection of her face in the shiny metal.

"Tori forgive me," she said aloud. "But I can't do this!" She shut her eyes tightly, her mouth frozen in a silent scream, as she cried hard.

Not being able to take one more painful memory of Tori, Jade held the scissors over her abdomen. With one free hand she lifted up her shirt, exposing her pale flesh. The cold steel kissed her skin, springing up goosebumps.

Jade gripped the scissors with two hands, shut her eyes, and plunged it deep.

Blood shot out of where the blades penetrated with all the ferocity of a fire hose. There was no stopping it.

Then the familiar dizziness came back.

It hurt more than anything but Jade couldn't bring herself to remove the scissors nor to attempt to stab herself again. She just held the prop in her with all she had.

It was unclear whether she finally let go of the scissors when everything went black.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm glad the reactions from everyone. I wanted it to be a powerfully sad experience and it seemed to work. **

**Strap yourselves in because it's gonna keep getting more and more intense.**

**;-)**

* * *

The house was deserted. Jade's mom was out and her father moved out a long time ago when the divorce happened. Her little brother went to live with dad. There wasn't a soul in the house and it would be hours until Mrs. West returned from work.

By then it would be too late.

Too late.

* * *

Trina picked up her phone when she saw it was her sister.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Hey," Tori responded with relief. "You doing anything?"

Trina stopped and put her hand on her hip. "No, what? Why?"

"Could you do me a _big_ favor?" she asked in that annoying whiney tone her older sister couldn't stand.

"What is it, Tori?" Trina's patience was wearing thin.

"I forgot to give Jade back her DVD of _Sleepaway Camp 2_ that time she came over. It should be still at the house."

Trina gave a longwinded sigh of aggravation and stomped down the stairs into the living room. She checked around the TV set and sure enough behind the flat screen was the DVD.

"Tori, this movie was stupid," she snarled. "I can't believe you watched it."

"Could you bring it back to Jade's house?"

"Oh, come on!" she whined.

"Trina," Tori in her serious tone. "I just remembered about it and she hasn't been answering her phone. If you don't do it now, I know I'm gonna forget again."

"Yeah, you definitely will" she rolled her eyes.

"Pleeeaaaassssee….."

"Ugh, okay, okay." Trina walked over to the kitchen and tore off a sticky note from the fridge. "Give me the address."

"You don't know?"

"I've never been there!"

"You picked me up from there."

"That was a long time ago."

"It was last month."

Trina dropped her pen. "Do you want me to go or not?"

* * *

Trina double-checked the address as she drove on Primrose Lane. Noticing Jade's car in the driveway, Trina pulled up behind it and made her way to the front door.

She rang the bell.

No answer.

Trina tried again.

Nothing.

She then started a barrage of pounding on the door. After a solid two minutes, Trina was about to quit when she looked down and noticed a funny-looking rock. She immediately recognized it as one of those fake rocks from that home and garden catalogue. People hide their spare keys in them.

Shrugging, Trina opened the decoy rock and found a bronze key. She gently placed the key in the front door, turned it and let herself in.

"Hello?" her high-toned voice echoed throughout the West residence. She saw Jade's backpack on the couch. _She had to be home_.

Trina went from the living room to the kitchen to the dining room. No sign of anybody. She sighed and started up the stairs.

"Hello, Jade?" yelling as she ascended the steps. "Don't shoot or nothing. I'm just returning your stupid movie, okay?"

She looked down the hall and saw an open door. Walking toward it, it started to look more and more like possibly Jade's room.

"I didn't break in, so don't freak out. I let myself in with the key…"

Trina stopped when she saw the bedroom was empty. She turned to the next door over. It was closed.

"Jade, you in there?" she knocked on it. The bright light was coming through underneath the door. She knocked harder. "Jade? Are you okay?" Trina tried the door but it was locked.

Something about this didn't feel right. Jade wasn't meek and would've kicked her out in no time. There was no exhaust or running water but she _was_ in the bathroom.

"Jade? Jade?" Trina looked around. _Why me? _She asked herself. "If you don't answer I'm gonna knock down the door."

Trina breathed very controlled, remembering everything her kickboxing instructor taught her. With a couple powerful kicks, she busted down the door.

She almost tripped over the chair beside the door when she saw it.

The bathtub, before the blood, was probably white. The only thing that stood out from the red was the pale girl that laid in the midst of it. Her eyes were like a doll's. Her body, motionless.

Trina sank to the tiled floor and screamed until she thought she was gonna throw up. After getting her bearings, she called 911 and told them to send an ambulance fast.

She ran to the tub, sliding on the small rug. Trina held Jade's face in her hands. She shook her.

"Jade? Can you hear me, Jade?"

It was like talking to a mannequin covered in red paint.

She attempted to lift her out, using all her strength to carry the limp girl. But the chair and broken door were barricades to her progress. Eventually, Trina dropped down to the floor with Jade leaning on her.

Trina checked the pale girl's pulse and got nothing.

"HELP! PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

She screamed these please for four minutes until the EMT's finally arrived to take her to Schneider Memorial. Trina, visibly shaken, rode beside her in the ambulance.


	9. Chapter 9

"How is she?" Trina asked, concerned.

"Well, she's very fortunate you found her when you did. She lost at least a third of her body's blood. Had she not been discovered and rushed over, Jade would have easily died from exsanguination."

Trina put her hand over her chest, thinking that might calm down her beating heart. "Will she be okay?"

The doctor folded his arms. "We're going to need some donations and fast. She is AB positive and her mother has already given all that we can legally take in one sitting."

"Wait a minute," Trina rolled up her sleeve. "What about me? I never gave blood before but my sister and I are O negative."

"Really?" the doctor raised an eyebrow. "That is splendid news. We can get some extracted from you in a hurry. Follow me."

_Tori, _Trina remembered. _I should call her. She'll be worried but she is her friend. Amazing how Jade West changed from that abrasive girl she first met in school. Now she is one of Tori's closest friends. And now…_

On the way to the room to get stuck with the needle, Trina thought about the blood-stained scissors she found near Jade's body. _What drove her to that? She's always had an affinity toward that dark stuff but she never pegged Jade as depressed._

This was too much. First her baby sister moves away. Now Tori's friend is laid up in a hospital bed attached to every conceivable device after trying to commit suicide.

* * *

"Doctor…" Trina was trying to see the nametag of the man giving her the needle.

"Foster," he smiled as he prepared to extracted the blood.

"Right." She cleared her throat. "How much can I donate?"

"One unit. It'll be over before you even know it. Hold still."

Trina nodded and watched the red stuff flow freely into the small vial. He was quick with the draw because next thing Trina knew, several vials were lined up next to each other.

"There we go," he said, taking off his white gloves and reaching for the small refrigerator. He took out a pint-sized orange juice and gave it to her. "Drink this. It helps but you must eat something substantial soon."

"I could go to the cafeteria," she said, getting up carefully. She was nervous about getting a headache from the whole thing.

Dr. Foster sighed. "Yeah, I guess it will have to do. Be sure to take it easy, most of all. You might feel a little loopy."

"Okay," she said softly.

* * *

Trina walked slowly to the waiting area. The cafeteria was on the ground floor and she didn't feel like finding the elevator down so she rested in a big chair. She took out her phone. She had to call her.

"Tor?"

"Trina, you okay? You sound tired. What's up?"

"Don't wanna talk about it. Tori, listen to me. Something's happened."

"What?" her tone grew anxious.

"It's Jade."

"What happened? Is she okay?"

Trina held the phone to her forehead, thinking about what to say next.

"You better get over here."

"I'm coming. Auntie Nina can take me to the airport."

Trina dropped her phone, accidentally hanging it up. The room was getting hazy and she covered her eyes from the bright fluorescents.

* * *

When she came to, Trina saw Mrs. West standing over her.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, just a little dizzy I guess."

She sat beside Trina. "I heard. Thank you. For everything."

"It's okay but can I ask you something?"

Trina got herself upright and looked at Jade's mom who appeared to have the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Okay," Mrs. West sighed. "What is it?"

"How long has Jade been…you know…"

The mom rubbed her arm. "I don't know. For a few years, I guess. She's been depressed ever since she came out."

_Wait, Jade's gay?_

"Right?" Trina lied to make her continue.

"I was indifferent but her father reacted the worst. He didn't look at her the same way after that. That was when she started to act depressed. Walking around, like she thought something was seriously wrong with her."

"But that's crazy."

Mrs. West smiled at the elder Vega. You could tell from her eyes that she wished he daughter had that kind of support.

"Anyway, things started to come to a head when she enrolled in Hollywood Arts. By the end of her first year, she made her first attempt. Her father found her that time. He freaked out, naturally. For a while, it kept him in the picture. Since the divorce, he was hardly around but after Jade tried to kill herself, he felt that he was somehow to blame."

"Doesn't Jade have brother?" Trina asked.

"Yeah," her mom wiped a tear away. "He doesn't know anything about this. And I intend to keep it that way."

Trina nodded, sensing her seriousness.

"He loves his sister very much. He looks up to her. I don't want to hurt that."

"Can I see her?" Trina asked.

"Yes but she's still not awake."

"That's fine."

* * *

The two of them walked into the room of Jade West. She was still. As pale as when Trina found her. The unforgiving recessed lighting was not helpful in bringing the life back into her flesh. Trina grabbed a small chair and brought it to the foot of Jade's bed.

"Trina," Mrs. West put her hand on her shoulder. "Will you stay with her until I get back. I want to get some of her things so that she has them when she gets up."

"Okay, I'll stay." Trina gave a confident smile to make Jade's mom comfortable with leaving.

"Be right back. Bye Trina." She walked over to her daughter and kissed her on the head. "Night baby. If you're still asleep when I come back, I'll be there when you wake."

After she left, Trina brought her chair closer to Jade's face.

"Jade? Can you hear me?"

No response.

"You scared the shit out of me, you know." She took a look at the black-haired girl's modest vitals. "What's happened? You were always very strong and didn't let anything beat you."

Trina racked her brain about what her motivation could have been.

"It could be better. We could've worked something out. _What_ made you think there was no way out?"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. Extra special thanks to Elimere and FuckTheReaper. Your comments were just amazing and never failed to make me smile. **

**enjoy!**

* * *

Trina must have dosed off because she woke up with a blanket and saw Mrs. West sitting sound asleep in another chair on the other side of the room. She looked at Jade who was partially illuminated by the tiny glowing green and yellow lights of the machines surrounding her.

She let out a very short scream when her phone rang. Trina covered her mouth in time to not wake the girl's mother. God knows she needed to rest for a while after this insanity. Hell, Trina still felt tired herself.

"Hello?" she said groggily.

"What room?" It was Tori.

"You're here already?" Trina asked surprised.

"I caught the first red eye I could. Just leaving LAX in a cab right now."

_How long was I out,_ Trina thought. "Um, okay. It's 24-C but it's a little hard to fi-…I'll just meet you in the lobby."

"Okay, bye."

"Later," she hung up her phone and started to sneak quietly out of the room to not disturb Mrs. West. Trina entertained the notion that Jade was trying to sleep, too.

* * *

"Trina!" her little sister called out and the two ran and hugged one another tightly. Tori was crying so Trina tried to be strong for her by not letting herself cry.

"Are you alright?" Trina asked.

"I'm okay, I guess" Tori sniffed. "How's Jade doing?"

Trina gave a shrug. "I don't really know. She hasn't come to since…since…" As her words trailed off, her tears were beginning. The memory of finding Jade as close to dead as you could find a person and still be technically alive was too much to bear. Tori could tell her sister was having difficulty.

"It's okay," she told Trina. "It must have been terrifying."

"It was easily the most scared I've ever been," she nodded. "Still don't know if I'm completely over it."

Tori's eyes squinted, "With…?"

"Being scared. I'm sorry, Tori. I wish I could tell you she's doing fine but I really haven't seen any change." She saw her sister's face droop. "But what the hell do I know about medical stuff, right? Remember that time we all tried the tropical fish because it made our feet smooth? And we all got so sick?"

Her chuckling at that stupid event in the past was infectious as Tori smiled at the memory.

"Yeah," Tori laughed softly. "I think the only ones who didn't try it was me and Cat."

Trina nodded, "That's right. You two were lucky."

Tori crossed her arms, attempting to breathe normally. It still felt good to laugh if only for a few seconds.

"So where is she?"

Trina pointed to the corridor on Tori's left. "Elevators to the C wing are over there."

* * *

Tori was told to be extra quiet because Jade's mom was still sleeping. She approached her best friend slowly, unable to process the image of her being attached to these big white machines. Tori took the longest, deepest breath she had ever taken in her life before taking Jade's hand. Her thumb could feel the faint pulse. She was still alive but far from the girl she remembered wandering the halls at school.

Staring at her closed eyelids, Tori couldn't help but sob at her broken friend. Something in her head sparked and she got the sudden urge to look beneath her hospital gown. It was probably going to make her ill, but Tori didn't care. It was that base part of the human brain that is intrigued by the macabre. Jade was one of those people who lived in that realm. Still, Tori couldn't accept the fact that Jade would harm herself beyond repair like that so she had to see it for herself.

The white gown with purple and green polka dots rose slowly up on the side and Tori saw right in the middle of Jade's torso was heavy bandages and gauze. Tori let the garment drop back into its place and she fell to the floor, holding her head. Trina put her arms around her shaking sibling.

"Why?" Tori whispered.

"I don't know. I never knew she was feeling this way."

"Doesn't her mom have any idea?" Tori looked at Trina with watery eyes.

Trina sighed. "It's…very personal…I think Jade's mom told me something I wasn't supposed to know."

Tori shook her head. "What?"

"Tor…Jade is…gay," the last word fell to a hush.

"Excuse me?" Tori's mind was questioning what she just heard. "No she isn't. What about Beck?"

Trina shrugged. "They broke up, didn't they?"

"Yeah but," Tori scratched her head. "Could _that_ be the reason?"

"People break up over stranger things," Trina mused.

"But you don't just decide to be gay. You just are. So, that means…"

"This whole time," Trina added.

"And none of us picked up on it," Tori was completely bewildered. "I feel so stupid right now."

"_You're_ stupid? I've had the perfect gaydar in Hollywood Arts. I had a spotless record of accuracy and this one slipped right by me and I saw her every day!"

"Jade was always a fine actress." _Damn it,_ Tori cursed herself. _Don't speak of her in the past tense. She's not dead! _"She put on quite a performance. Between Beck, that guy Moose, Johnny Depp…I always thought she loved boys as much as, well, you."

"I know, right?" Trina's whisper almost got too loud for whispering.

They both checked on the still asleep Mrs. West.

"How was she?" Tori asked.

"Shaken up, of course."

Tori wrapped her arms around her knees as she sat on the floor. "Who wouldn't be?"

"Oh yeah," Trina remembered. "Jade really needs more blood. Her mom and I gave what we could but she still needs more."

Tori had a brief moment considering the irony of her giving blood to the same girl who tried to take it that one time they were fighting over that Steamboat Suzy play.

"Can we do it now?" Tori asked. "I really want to."

"Let's go find a nurse or someone."

The Vega sisters get up from the linoleum floor and leave the only sound that remained in the room was a faint hissing and beeping of Jade West's life hanging by a thread.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: 27 followers and 11 have already favorited the story? Awesome. I am gushing about all the love this story is getting. I really want to do this justice for all of you. Here is the fastest I have ever gotten to the next chapter. Reason? Between this morning and tomorrow night, I am going to be super busy with work.**

**So I wanted to capitalize on my free time, or the calm before the storm, as I call it. **

**As always, please leave your reviews. What you guys said about the last chapter was just the best. If I could have feedback like that every time, I would be set!**

**;-)**

* * *

**FOUR YEARS AGO**

Jade paced around her room, mind racing.

_Tonight, _she thought. _I'll tell them tonight._

"Jade!" she heard her mom call from downstairs. "Dinner!"

The black-haired girl gathered her composure and descended the stairs to the dining room. Her dad and little brother Elias were both seated while Mom was bringing the last side dish and prepared to seat herself.

"You made it," her dad smiled in his usual sardonic manner. Easy to see where Jade got her sense of humor.

"Yeah," Jade simply responded and sat down.

They passed around the various components of the evening's supper until everyone got their full plate. Jade wanted to make her big announcement _before_ everyone started eating but it was too late. Elias had already begun to tear it up.

Jade shut her eyes and breathed deeply. _Don't be a coward, _she told herself.

"Mom, dad…" she sheepishly stated, pushing her food around with her fork. "I have something to tell you."

Her father wiped his mouth and threw down his napkin like a Roman Emperor before the gladiator was about to fight the lion. Her mom just turned her head toward her daughter, concerned.

"Is this about school?" her dad asked.

"No," she shook her head. "It's nothing bad."

"Well what then?" her mother pressed.

"You know how…my age I'm starting to like…boys?"

Doom came across her father's face but at the time he was thinking that she did something regretful. Immediately picking up on the double entendre of that last sentence, Jade shifted gears.

"Well…the thing is…I think I like…girls…"

It took an extra couple seconds for it to register in Mrs. West's head but her husband understood right away. He's lived in California his whole life and he understood what being gay was. That didn't mean he liked it. And it didn't mean he condoned his daughter being one of those folk.

"Excuse me," he said standing up. "But I think I just lost my appetite." He swiftly exited the room and a contrite Mrs. West acted like the last two minutes didn't happen. Elias just kept eating, not understanding the conversation.

Jade sat there, looking at the floor. Suddenly, she lost her appetite as well.

* * *

For the longest time, her father barely said an audible word to her. They both just kind of coexisted. Jade couldn't stand being looked as _that lesbian who lives in my house_. She heard that very phrase one night when her parents were arguing. Her dad had a fit when he found out Jade was being permitted to attend Hollywood Arts.

"It's bad enough we live in the gay capitol of the goddamn country but now she is going to school with a bunch of goofy artists?"

"She has talent," her mom interjected. "_Some_ parents want to nurture such things."

"Well, I won't have any part of it."

"What the hell does that mean," she shouted back.

"I'm leaving and I'm taking Elias. My only son is not going to be poisoned by this queer bullshit."

_Oh fuck,_ Jade thought.

After that, she realized that she would rather live a lie than be responsible for her parents separating. So, she accepted the request for a date from that Beck Oliver who transferred from Canada. At first it was jarring but he proved to be a really sweet guy. There were times when the lighting was just right and his androgynous features allowed Jade to pretend enough to enjoy their more intimate moments from time to time.

At every opportunity, she would parade Beck around to her parents; particularly her father. She wanted him to think that it was only a phase (or at least a terrible idea) and she was "normal."

The damage was already done, though. After that argument, Jade's mom couldn't live with a man so heartless so she kicked him out. They didn't legally divorce but they agreed to live apart and divide the responsibility of the children, Mr. West taking Elias since it was decided he would need a father figure.

They visited all the time, Jade content with the occasions she _did_ see her father. At least he wasn't looking at her _that way_ anymore. In his eyes, she was still his daughter and that was enough. For a little while. Jade still blamed herself for her parents separating. If she weren't gay, if she was just like everyone else she knew, Jade's world wouldn't have been thrown into upheaval.

This was all ridiculous but tell that to a thirteen-year-old, going on fourteen.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

* * *

Tori made a small smile when the resident was finished extracting her blood. _This certainly feels familiar, _she thought. _This hospital better not lose it like that other one_.

Trina put her hand on Tori's back. "You feel a little better?"

"As long as I know Jade is moving a little closer to feeling better," Tori responded.

They walked out of the little room.

Trina turned to Tori. "I think now they start serving breakfast in the cafeteria downstairs. You hungry?"

"Yeah," Tori held her stomach as it growled. "I was so worried I forgot to eat something at the airport or on the plane."

"Be right back," she said before walking away.

* * *

Tori was able to find her way back to Jade's room. She had never been in this hospital before but after you see something once, it is pretty easy to remember where it is. She was stunned Mrs. West hugged her not a half second before entering the door.

"Tori," she said warmly. "I knew you'd come."

"Are you kidding?," Tori said. She showed her arm with the Hello Kitty Band-Aid. "I had to."

After seeing that, Jade's mom hugged her even tighter, a brief hindrance to Tori's breathing.

"Jade's lucky to have you girls." Mrs. West looked past Tori. "Where's Trina?"

"Went to get some breakfast. She'll be back." Tori glanced at Jade who didn't move since she was last in the room. "How is she?"

"Hanging in there, I suppose" she said as she sat down. Tori knelt beside her, holding her hand. The woman looked like she was about to unload. "I just don't know what to do anymore," she sobbed.

"It's okay," Tori said trying to be comforting.

"You don't understand. This wasn't the first time."

That Tori did not know, evidenced by her mouth agape.

"She tried to before," Mrs. West continued. "It was horrible. From what I heard a truncated version of what your sister found yesterday."

Tori rubbed her arms with her hands, contemplating that image of Jade lying dead in her own blood.

Trina returned several minutes later with waffles, bacon and fruit. Realizing she forgot the orange juice, she secreted a few from the little fridge in the room where she got the needle when no one was looking.

The three ladies ate, mostly to keep their strength up and suppress those hunger pangs.

"At least this food is edible," Trina trying to lighten the mood. "For Jade's sake anyway when she wakes up."

Tori looked at her sister, silently thanking her for trying to keep morale (or at least Mrs. West's spirits) up.

* * *

After they were done eating, Mrs. West said that she was going to try and contact her husband and son again. They needed to be here for Jade. The girls agreed to watch Jade and promised to text her mom if there is any change.

Tori looked over in the corner of the room where a sort of desk/vanity table jutted out of the wall.

There was a white laptop on it.

"What's that?"

Trina looked over and remembered what her mom said. "Oh that, it's Jade's computer from home."

"Really?" Tori said rising to her feet and walking over to it.

"What are you doing?"

"Maybe there are some clues in here," she said while picking up the laptop.

Trina shook her head. "You shouldn't, Tor. It's private."

"Look, she must have had a reason for doing this, okay?" Tori wiped back a tear. "Maybe the answer's in here."

"Her mom was considering the same thing," Trina retorted. "But she didn't want to impede on Jade's privacy."

Tori stared at her. That didn't sound like the loving mother she saw.

Trina sighed. "Fine. She couldn't figure out the password."

"Well, I bet I can," Tori furrowed her brow.


	12. Chapter 12

"Scissors," Tori mused as she typed the word.

_THIS PASSWORD IS INVALID_

"Did you really think it was going to be that easy?" Trina taunted.

"Shut up and stand watch for Mrs. West," Tori pointed to the door.

Trina folded her arms and stood by the open door. "Fine, baby sis."

Tori cracked her knuckles behind her head and popped her neck. "I can do this."

"You gonna talk to yourself the whole time?" Trina asked.

Tori raised her finger to tell her older sister to zip it.

"I know…" she said while typing.

_TAWNY_

_LOADING…_

Tori clapped, victorious. "It worked," she whisper-shouted.

"What? Really?" Trina ran over. "What did you try?"

"Oh, I just remembered the name of the girl from that movie _The Scissoring_."

Trina shuddered. "Eh, that title rubs me the wrong way."

"Yeah," Tori watched the loading screen finishing. "The director only spoke a little English and the original title didn't translate well."

"No it didn't," Trina chuckled.

"Oh, Trina! The door."

Realizing she left her post and ran back to the doorway. "Find anything?"

"The desktop just came up. Let's see…" Tori typed fast to save for time spent guessing how to get in. "Mmmm, not much in documents. Just some lyrics and scripts."

"No diary or anything?" Trina pressed.

Tori shook her head. "Nothing. Wait…what's this?"

She clicked on a document that was labeled " "

"Okay, there is some Word file created a month ago. Last updated…" her eyes widened and she looked up at her sister. "…yesterday."

"Open it, Tori!" Trina narrowed her eyes to make out what was in the distance. Something familiar. "Oh shit," she said.

"What?"

"Jade's mom! She's coming."

"Shit," Tori breathed. She bit her nails and suddenly came up with an idea. She logged onto the link into her account. Then she made an email to herself with the as an attachment.

"What are you doing?" Trina whispered nervously.

"Hoping this hospital has Wi-Fi." The icon she wished for came up. "There. Sent!"

"Would you hurry up?"

Tori quickly closed the laptop and put it back into its place. Luckily, the little blue light shut faded which meant this computer turns off when closed.

"Hey, Mrs. West" Tori stood up, so quickly she almost fell. "How did it go?"

"Hmm?" she was lost in thought. "Oh, yes. Her father should be along in a couple hours. He couldn't get himself away."

_His only daughter almost died, by her own hand no less, and he couldn't just leave work? Class act, _Tori thought.

"We'll be right back," Trina said. "Going to check out the gift shop downstairs."

Tori understood the subterfuge. "Yes. Need to find just the right things to put in the room when Jade wakes up."

Mrs. West smiled at these two angels that have been by her side. If only her ex-husband could have been that supportive. At least for her daughter's sake.

"We'll be back," Tori added.

* * *

Once the girls Vega left, they found a secluded area to talk. It was part of the new wing being freshly constructed. Nobody was around.

"What do you think?" Trina asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, should we tell Jade's mom about the laptop?"

Tori thought and shook her head. "No. Let's see it ourselves first. Something might be in there too shocking for her. If there is, we can break it to her gently."

Trina nodded. It seemed logical. "Okay. Hey Tor, I'm going home. After everything that's happened, I am dying for a shower and a change of clothes. Feels like I've been in this hospital for days."

"Kay," Tori said and then kissed her on the cheek. "See ya later."

"Don't forget to call everybody. They're all probably worried."

Tori walked over to a big chair and flopped down. "Oh," she moaned. "How am I going to break something like this to Cat? She's delicate."

"Is that what they're calling it now?" Trina called out as she exited Tori's sight.

Tori took out her phone and was about to dial her circle of friends but hesitated. Instead, she opened up her mailbox and found the file. She clicked on it and made a little enhancement to make it large enough for her to read it.

Unbeknownst to her, forty minutes had passed. She read the entire thing and had to re-read some sections, sometimes for distracting grammar errors and the rest of the time from the content.

Finally finished, Tori turned on the chair to lay down. Her arm draped over the side slowly relinquished her phone. It landed on the floor after dropping a couple inches.

_What the fuck?_ she asked herself over and over.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: You guys continue to impress me with your absolute love for our girls. Now, tell me how much you dig this chapter!**

**;-)**

* * *

Tori's head was spinning with what she's been reading.

_It just hurts too much, _Jade wrote. _Not being able to tell her every day. To be this close and resist the urge to kiss her. _

"This couldn't be happening," she thought to herself. "This was like something out of a strange dream."

_I wonder if she ever caught me smelling her hair those few times we were sitting close. _

The more Tori let the details wash over her, the more little things were becoming clearer.

"She sat next to Beck at lunch but she always made sure that she was always across from me. That's what you do when you're on a date, right? You sit across from the other person so they're always in your sights."

Jade had spent several single-spaced pages pouring her heart out. She was in love. In love with Victoria "Tori" Vega.

The part that made Tori cry right then and there was toward the end:

_I really thought I made progress. Tori was not going back to that creep and we were getting close. I still couldn't believe we almost kissed. Next thing I knew, she told me she was leaving. Is it for good?_

Then the last entry made her freak out, especially when put in context:

_ I can't take it anymore. The fire turning in my guts is too much. My heart aches and it will never be whole if I can't be with her. Nobody thought of me as lesbian in a positive light. I thought Tori would be the most understanding. Maybe one day, she might feel the same way about me like I do. But I know now that'll never happen._

_I love you, Tori. _

That final entry stamped the document on Jade's computer at yesterday at 2:30 in the afternoon. According to Trina, the paramedics got there close to five.

This was the very last thing she wrote (felt) before she tried to take her own life.

Jade had always been the strongest girl she had ever known. Tori wished she was that confident, that together. Who knew that all this time she had a secret crush on one of her closest friends? She was hurting and nobody knew?

Tori held her cell, her eyes burning a hole through the little red PearPhone. This little journal was started weeks ago but had she felt this way for longer? Jade attempted to killed herself because of Tori. The guilt flooded her heart, she couldn't fathom that her good friend would be driven to do that because of her.

* * *

Tori wandered back into Jade's room in a haze.

"Tori," Mrs. West exclaimed. "Get lost?"

"What? Oh, yeah a little."

She smiled at Tori. "How was the gift shop?"

"Mmm? Oh, yeah. It was nice. Trina just…went home to get some money for presents and food and stuff."

"Is something wrong?" she asked Tori. "You look like you're gonna be sick."

"I…would it be okay…if I had a few minutes alone with Jade? I really wanted to talk to her…" her hands were rubbing one another anxiously.

"Sure," Mrs. West picked up her purse and headed for the door. "I'll just get some coffee across the street. I heard some surgeons complaining about the cafeteria's brew on the way back up."

Tori smiled a little at that and shut the door behind her. She took a deep breath and approached her friend's hospital bed.

"Jade," it was such an easy word to say, technically, but emotionally those four letters carried a lot of weight. "I know you probably didn't want me to read that thing on your computer but…you know me…always getting in your shit."

She brushed back her hair, eyes beginning to moisten once again.

"I don't know what to say. What do you want me to say?" her arms folded. "Well, you certainly got my attention" trying to appeal to her twisted sense of humor. "I'm so sorry I didn't make you feel like you could've told me. I guess I always thought you could tell me anything. But I keep forgetting that you're not like everybody else. You're…not easy. I guess they're right when the say that nothing easy is worth a damn."

Tori wiped her tears away, trying to focus on her words and not getting lost in what she read earlier.

"You are very important to me, Jade but…I don't think I can be that person for you. I mean…I'm not gay. I like boys. Last time I checked, so did you." "What does this mean?," she shrugged. "Where do we go from here?"

She brushed her fingers through Jade's dark hair.

"I care about you, Jade. Very much. Know that. But I don't know about if…"

Her words were interrupted by Jade tugging on her shirt to bring her down for a kiss.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Like Tori asked, "where do we go from here?"**

**Read on ;-)**

**All I can say is get out your handkerchiefs!**

* * *

"You came back, Tori" Jade whispered. Her voice was very hoarse. "I didn't…"

Tori was still dumbstruck by the kiss. It was incredibly unexpected and to her unexpectedly incredible. She still had chills going up and down her spine.

"Jade," she smiled. "You're awake."

The raven-haired girl tried to get up but was too weak.

"Take it easy," Tori scolded her.

"Where am I?" she asked.

"You're in a hospital." She hesitated before the rest. "You almost died yesterday. Do you remember anything?"

Jade closed her eyes, honestly replaying the last thing she remembered. She was sitting in the empty bathtub before plunging those giant scissors into her stomach.

In all honesty, when Jade first opened her eyes and took in the sight of Tori standing over her, for a brief moment, she believed that she was dead and in a kind of heaven.

"Jade?" a familiar voice called out from someone familiar who easily has a lump in their throat.

Jade's mom ran over to her only daughter and hugged her deeply.

"Mom," her voice still scratchy. "I'm sorry…"

"Shh," Jade's mother told her softly. "Don't be sorry. I'm just glad you're still here." When she pulled away from the hug, Mrs. West noticed her daughter had been crying the entire time. She wiped a tear with her thumb. "Baby, why?"

Tori looked at her feet, still feeling responsible for what Jade did.

Jade glanced at her briefly before looking back at her mother.

"I mean, I know you probably blamed yourself for me and your dad separating that first time but sweetheart, you know that I'm telling you the truth when I say it absolutely was not!"

Jade hesitated before giving a very slight nod to put her mom at ease.

"I thought you were doing better," her mom continued. "You even seemed happy at times." She fought back her own tears to remain strong for her child. "I wish I knew what was going through your mind the other day. I feel like I could've…"

"Mrs. West," Tori interrupted. "Don't beat yourself up. If Jade had the strength she'd tell you the same."

Jade nodded more emphatically to confirm Tori said.

"I know, Tori" she responded. "It's just difficult to figure out."

Tori and Jade exchanged knowing glances when she wasn't looking.

* * *

After a while, Trina finally returned and was surprised by Jade hugging her when she approached her bedside.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"They said you found me and called 911" Jade whispered.

Trina shrugged. "What was I supposed to do? You did scare the shit out of me back there, you know."

"I'm sorry," she responded.

Now that really surprised Trina.

"Does it hurt that much to talk?" Trina asked.

Jade nodded.

"I've got an idea!" she held up her hand and ran to the other side of the room. She came back with Jade's phone. "Here," handing it to her.

The bedridden West girl started typing, her fingers trying desperately to keep up with her mind.

Tori flinched when her phone sounded off. "_hey vega_," she read out loud.

Trina darted her eyes back at Jade, hurt. "Hey, what about me?" she demanded.

Tori got another text. "_i don have your number_"

The sister cracked up and Jade made a crooked smile.

* * *

Tori spent the day helping Mrs. West take care of Jade, helping her with her food and other stuff.

Later on when it got dark, Jade woke up and saw her mom and Tori asleep across the room. She dug out her cell and pulled it off the charger. She sent Tori a text. Jade tried a second time when the sound of the alert didn't wake her up. Tori rubbed her eyes, confused and looked over at Jade. She brandished her phone, indicating to Tori to check her own cell.

**JADE: Were you sleeping? LOL**

_TORI: Funny. _

**JADE: Seriously, i want to talk about this morning.**

_TORI: What?_

**JADE: You know**

_TORI: You were just confused Jade_

**JADE: No I wasn't**

_TORI: I cant take much mor of this_

**JADE: What the hell do you mean?**

_TORI: I know how you feel Jade. about me_

**JADE: and?**

_TORI: I don't know. I have to think bout this_

**JADE: dont leave, pleaz**

Tori got up from her chair and grabbed her purse, starting toward the door.

**JADE: TORI NO! DONT LEAVE ME!**

_TORI: I'm sorry, Jade._

Mrs. West woke up to the sound of her daughter crying her eyes out.

_She left, _Jade thought. _I told her I loved her and she ran away!_

_I have nothing now..._


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Big shout out to FuckTheReaper. Your loyal support and (often) hilarious messaging & reviews have been very inspiring. Here's wishes that all of you get at least one fan who's this awesome.**

**Thanks, by the way, for the shout out in your own story, YOU FOUND ME. If you haven't read it, you really should! **

**Sorry for the series of short takes. My energy has been depleted. I wanted this next to one to at least breach my usual quota of 1000 words minimum. **

**Let me know what you all think. Those of you who aren't Elimere, Quitting Time, Timeless Reader, or You-Know-Who (see above) should really break your silence and let me know if you're enjoying yourselves. **

* * *

Jade shook for hours, inconsolable. Her phone had been blowing up with calls from friends after word got around that she had been awake. Unfortunately, none of them were returned. She didn't want to speak to anyone and most of all didn't want to see anybody.

Nobody knew about the suicide. Trina told everyone that she was in an accident and was feeling weak but otherwise fine.

After stopping from sobbing long enough to scroll through her messages, Jade sighed and settled on one. The usual group was annoying in their own way but it was hard for Jade to get upset with this one. She had a glorious ignorance that was infectious.

Jade found the contact and called, waiting for the ringing to stop.

"Cat?"

"Jade!" the bubbly voice shot out of the silence like somebody unfurled the curtains in a dark room on a May morning.

"Hey," her voice was sounding more like her but still a lot of the life was removed from it. Not necessarily physiologically related to her injury.

"Oh, my God Jade! I was so worried. You didn't meet me the other day after you left school early. Next thing I hear they said you're in the hospital!"

This must be what it felt like if the Fire Department was trying to extinguish a flame over the phone. "Calm down, kitty. It's okay. I'm…fine."

"Why didn't you call?" her voice was very disappointed.

"Sorry, the doctor wouldn't let me have visitors but I'm doing better so I figured you might want to…"

"BE RIGHT THERE!" she shouted, making Jade drop her cell. She messaged her ear, no longer one of the parts of her body that _didn't_ ache.

* * *

While Jade waited for Cat, she saw a couple messages from Trina. Not the Vega she was hoping for but close enough.

**JADE: What?**

_TRINA: You know what's wrong with Tori. She's acting funny_

This was strange. She seemed fine when she just left her, crying in the arms of her mother. Why should she care? After… Oh, who was she trying to kid. Jade still loved her.

**JADE: idk**

_TRINA: I thik you do_

**JADE: no**

_TRINA: come on, Jade. I thought things changed between us. Don't you trust me NOW?_

She was annoyingly persistent (like her younger sibling, normally) but she had a point. After everything that's happened, Trina has proven that she just wants to help.

**JADE: it's complicated.**

_TRINA: would you rather I come by?_

The answer was out before Jade realized she had typed it.

**JADE: yes**

_TRINA: let me just see if she needs anything and I'll come over._

**JADE: ok**

_TRINA: okay, bye_

Jade put her cell away when she spotted the mini redhead skipping into the room.

"Hi!" Cat called out in her usual high-pitched friendly tone.

Jade winced as she pressed the button to move the upper part of the bed up a little to see her in greater relief.

Cat stopped in her tracks from attempting hug her after seeing the look on her face and just held her left arm.

"You're in pain," she said sadly.

"Well, the doctors are just being cautious," Jade half-lied. "They have me bandaged up pretty tightly."

"Who is the big man outside your door?" Cat asked pointing.

Jade remembered the doc and her mom discussing about the hospital's policy with suicidal patients. She is to be kept under watch whenever nobody is in the room like family or friends.

"He's…security," Jade responded. At least it technically wasn't a complete lie.

"Kay! 'Kay!" she grinned, digging into a huge plastic bag. "This is for you, Jadey!"

Jade took the neck of a cerulean giraffe with orange hair down it's back.

"Oh," Jade said.

"Now, Mr. Purple has someone to play with when you get out," she smiled.

"Thanks, Cat." Jade looked past the girl and saw a face peering into the room. "Who's that?"

"Um, well…" when Cat is cornered and can't make something up, she usually blurts out the truth really fast. "I told Robbie that I was going to see you and he told Beck and he told Andre and now they're all here." Cat stared at the floor after that mouthful.

"Cat," Jade groaned. "I didn't want any visitors. Just you."

"Too late," Beck marched in with Robbie and Andrew in tow. "Hey Andre," Beck turned to his buddy. "Can you take Cat for some ice cream? Me and Robbie have to talk to Jade."

Andre pouted. "Don't I just feel out of the loop?" He held up his hands. "Okay, okay, wanna get some frozen treats little red?"

"Oh yay!" she exclaimed, taking Andre's hand. On the way out, he takes Robbie's collar.

"Listen, Shapiro; you better fill me in."

The boy with glasses nodded and the two left the room. Beck and Robbie just looked at Jade.

"I can't believe you really did it," Robbie shaking his head.

"Never thought I'd say this but thank God for Trina," Beck said, shivering internally at the contradictory statement.

Robbie moved closer to Jade. "Jade, this can't continue. You need help or something…"

"Look," Jade cut him off. "I don't need any of y-"

"No!" Robbie getting into Jade's face. "You will listen to me now!"

Jade's eyes were wide at Robbie newfound brashness. Even Beck didn't know the guy had it in him.

"Do you know what Cat did last night?"

She shrugged.

"She cried. Until she fell asleep. She was so worried about you." Robbie brushed his hair before continuing. "What if you DID die? How would Cat be able to process that? You're her best friend and you just turned your back on that?"

"Look," Beck chimed in. "If you have feelings for Cat, I'm sure Robbie would have stepped aside…"

Jade waved her hand. "You're barking up the wrong tree. Don't even finish that sentence." She sighed quietly. "Besides, it wasn't her."

"Then who?" Robbie asked.

The boys turned around and saw Trina enter.

"Oh hey," she said. Still Trina at heart, she couldn't resist that moment of weakness in playing with her hair at the sight of Beck.

"What's up?" Beck said back. Robbie gave a small wave.

Trina looked around. "Anybody else here?"

"Yeah, Andre and Cat are downstairs," Robbie responded.

"I see," she said.

"Say, Trina…you were here for a while. Do you know what's up with Jade?"

"No," she thought about it. "Does this have to do with her being out?"

Robbie blinked. "You know?"

Jade glared at the elder Vega.

"Yeah," she responded nervously. "Jade's mom kind of let the cat out of the bag to us. I guess she thought we all knew."

"Only some of us," Beck staring at Jade who is now trying not to make eye contact with anyone currently in the room. "Say, Trina…would you happen to know who Jade is in love with?"

Robbie walked over to the door. "Let's find out." He checked outside and saw the guard had taken a break and left.

"What is this?" Jade asked, taking in all of the people she knows standing around her. "An intervention?"

"Can be," Beck furrowed a brow as Robbie shut the door.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Today was a good day. Just got done my first beta session with ebagaov. What a promising new talent! **

**Anyway, nice to see some new people start following me! Always a pleasure. **

**AND NOW, THE REVIEWERS:**

**Elimere, I totally understand. Things can get in the way. Always worth the wait, though.**

**FuckTheReaper, you've been unusually quiet. You alright? My inbox feels lonely.**

**Timeless Reader, always on the edge of your seat which is where I want to stay**

**Quitting Time, adore your more analytical comments**

**Lushcoltrane, it's been a while. You still reading? I hope you still like it.**

**And for all the guests and others who chimed in over time, I greatly appreciate it. I only wish I could hear more from you out there!**

* * *

Jade stared down her imposing entourage.

"I'm going to count to ten," her tone was calculated and relaxed. "And if you haven't left by then, I'm going to scream and have you all thrown out." Jade pointed, her eyes giving dire warning on those last couple words.

"Jade, please" Beck implored.

She rolled her eyes and looked harshly at Robbie. He was the cause of this unwanted attention.

"Despite popular opinion, this isn't a cry for help," Jade coldly stated. "I actually just want to be left alone."

"Well, you know what?" Trina chimed in. "You were left alone and look where that got you!"

Jade folded her arms tightly, like a fence of flesh protecting her heart. Or imprisoning it.

"What can I do to make you leave?" she growled.

"Just admit you have feelings for…whoever you have feelings for."

Jade rolled her eyes again. "What business is it of yours?"

"Because she's my sister," Trina quietly said.

Her eyes grew wide as did the boys at her side.

"Sorry," Robbie shook his head. "I must had something crazy in my ear. Did you say that Jade's in love with…"

"Tori?" Beck finished with his mouth left agape.

"How did you find out about that?"

Trina licked her lips and pulled out her phone. "Tori and I were watching TV last night and we fell asleep. I heard my phone go off but in the dark, I grabbed the wrong one. One of the recent messages were about a kiss. And it was from you."

Beck and Robbie looked back at Jade who was never embarrassed than right now.

"So what?" she shrugged. "I told her, if that's what you are wondering. I told Tori I loved her and guess what? Miss goodie two-shoes fucking left me!"

"She did?" Robbie looked concerned.

"Yes," she gritted her teeth at the spectacled boy.

Trina shook her head. "I can't believe this. I never thought she would be that kind of person."

"What, gay?" Beck naively asked.

"What? No!" she chided him. "I mean the kind of person that would leave a friend like that."

"Maybe something spooked her."

"And just what the hell does Tori have to be scared of," Jade demanded.

"Think about it," Robbie said. "Tori hasn't had the best luck in relationships." Trina and Beck nodded in agreement. "Every time she thought something was going somewhere, she would be dumped or worse. I mean, you have that James prick who Tori thought was going to be there forever."

Beck still cursed the name of that guy ever since he was told about him and his pictures.

"And here you are," Robbie continued. "Someone she has grown to care about, despite your past abrasive behavior," Jade gave a slight nod in agreement with that part. "And you actually showed her that you would die without her."

"It's a lot to take in," Trina added. "What did you think was going to be her reaction?"

Tears formed in her blue-green eyes but Jade didn't let her hand brush them away. Her mind raced with everything Robbie said. Who knew that the boy who used to stick his hand up an obnoxious puppet would actually make some sense? She looked at Trina.

"Where is she?" her tone was of desperation.

"I don't know. She was at home last night but I haven't seen her or heard from her since."

Jade was in disbelief. "Where the hell is Tori?"

"Jade," Beck interjected. "She already told you that she didn't know."

"Well, that's not good enough, is it?" her voice raised in intensity. She was in bed, heavily bandaged across the torso but Jade West had the upper hand in this room.

"Come on," Trina said to the two guys. "Let's try and find her."

"What about Jade?" Robbie asked.

"Her mom will be along later on. And in the meantime, Andre and Cat are still here."

Beck shrugged. "Let's do it."

When the three of them left, Jade laid back in her bed. She was dog tired but she couldn't allow herself to sleep. She was too worried for Tori. Nobody expected what she had done to herself. Tori is just as unlikely a person.

"You better not have done anything stupid," Jade said aloud.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: As always, please leave your comments and tell me how feel about this chapter. It wasn't easy to write because it covers a lot of emotional ground. **

**Enough meandering. **

**Enjoy ;-)**

* * *

Eventually sleep won out and Jade succumbed.

It wasn't long until Cat's boisterousness snapped her out of it.

"Oh, sorry Jade. Were you sleeping?" she asked sheepishly.

"Not anymore," Jade rubbing her eyes.

"'Kay!" she perked up sitting beside Jade. She took her hand into her own. "So, how are you feeling?"

"I've been better." Jade turned to Andre. "Hey, you!"

Andre turned around, trying his best not to look at Jade.

"Oh, hey yourself," he responded, nervously touching his dreads.

"I'm not gonna bite, you know" she grinned slightly.

"I know. It's just…" he slowly approached Jade's bed. "Really weird to see you like this. Especially…you know…how…" he jerked his head, gesturing toward Cat. Jade nodded in understanding.

"I know, it surprised a lot of people."

"What did?" Cat queried.

Jade shook her head. "Oh, nothing." Trying to change the subject, she noticed a big bag. "That for me?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Uh-huh," Cat leapt up to retrieve the huge white bag with rainbow polka dots on it. "Get well soon, 'kay?"

"Okay," Jade smiled back. She reached inside and pulled out a Build-A-Bear dressed in a black shirt and skirt with little red school scissors in its hand. She hugged the little stuffed animal to her chest, the smooth hairs tickling her face.

"You like it?" Cat asked in anticipation.

"Love it."

Jade really needed this right now. Cat always had that ability to make you feel fuzzy when you were feeling your most crappy. She was still worried about Tori but she kept it to herself. At least until Cat excused herself to the little girl's room.

"Okay," Andre leaned in. "What's really going on?"

Jade sighed. "Well, I've already been outed so here it is: I love Tori."

"Our Tori?"

"What other Tori is there?" Jade tilted her head. "There. Now you're caught up."

Andre just stood beside himself.

"She's one of my best friends. How didn't I know this?"

"No," Jade rolled her eyes. "_She's_ not gay. At least I don't think she is."

"Oh," he whispered. "Got it."

Jade adjusted herself to try and sit more up. "You haven't…seen her, have you?"

Andre shook his head. "Nah, nobody knows where she is."

"I don't like this, Andre." Her eyes were wild with so many emotions. "I haven't spoken with her and now people are telling me she's missing…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa" Andre held up his hands, warding off the bad thoughts. "She's not missing."

"THEN WHERE IS SHE?" Jade shouted, the effort in doing so was stressing her diaphragm which was very close to the healing wound. She slinked back flat onto her bed, wincing from the agony.

"I know where she is," Cat's voice made the two of them look straight at the doorway.

"Cat," Andre cautiously walked over to the petite red head, like she was a deer that was going to be frightened away. "Do you know where Tori is?"

She nodded, "Yeah, she told me not to tell anyone that she was at her dad's cabin."

Jade and Andre exchanged glances.

"Cat, do you know how to get there?" Jade asked.

"Mmm-mm," she responded, shaking her head.

"But I do," Trina said, standing behind Cat.

* * *

Trina's car pulled up to the small family-size cabin up in Del Norte County, the northernmost point in California, just on the border of Oregon. It was a beautiful, scenic place filled with massive redwoods that stretched like fingers reaching to the blue sky.

The older Vega approached the front door with Beck, Andre and Robbie. Cat stayed behind to keep Jade company and she was embarrassed that she spilled the beans on Tori's whereabouts.

Trina took out her key and opened the big door and it opened with a loud creak like one of the many trees had suddenly fallen. Tori stood up from the couch in the living room, surprised.

"What are you doing here?" she asked shocked and contrite.

"What are _we_ doing here?" Trina countered. "We've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Yeah," Andre stepped in front of Trina. "What gives?"

Beck let his eyes wander to the other side of the main room and saw a pile of luggage. "Oh my God, you ran away?"

"No," she protested, folding her arms. "I just…needed time to think."

"Well," Robbie butted in. "While you were thinking, we've all been worried. Jade's a wreck, you know." There was venom in his voice. Tori was taken aback by this aggressive Robbie. He must really be upset.

"I'm sorry," Tori conceded. "It wasn't my intention to make everyone worry but I was scared, too."

"We're all scared, Tori. You think I wasn't scared beyond belief when I found Jade in that bathroom? I was beside myself but I did what was necessary because between the two of us, I was the most capable."

"Jade was depressed. She almost went through this suicide attempt. She's clearly not well and you just walked away?"

Tori began to cry, breathing heavily. She collapsed onto the couch, nearly missing it and hitting the floor.

"Oh God, I'm such an idiot!"

Trina sat beside her and put her arm around her sister.

"Tori, why did you run away?"

The younger Vega held her arms and rocked back and forth. "It's stupid."

"Try us," Beck spat back.

Tori sighed and closed her eyes. "I think that I love Jade, too."

"So, what's the problem?" Andre asked.

"It's too much for me to take. The more I thought about Jade and being with her; I _do_ want her . But I don't want that other stuff. What if I make a mistake? What if I don't keep her happy? I don't like how someone's life hinges on me."

Robbie leaned on the back of the couch, his face close to Tori's. "Listen to me, Tori. We understanding your fear. It's not a responsibly anyone deserves. But Jade still needs help and if she's gonna get better, she needs support. So far, we have only been so successful. She has a love in her life and that can be a big influence on her. Don't think of it as you keep Jade from trying to end her life but instead, you give her the strength to carry on."

Everyone sat or stood in silence for five long minutes, everyone patient with Tori's deep thinking. Finally, she rose.

"I...think…I want to go home now."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thanks a bunch to Elimere, Lushcoltrane, and Timeless Reader for your awesome loyalty. I swear, your comments just get better and they continue to inspire me. This entry may be a little too late but here's hoping your Valentine's was great!**

**Jeremy Shane, I still like it when you chime in!**

**Oh, and let's welcome the new follower: MissRX. Hope to hear more from you, too. Don't be shy.**

**We aren't at the end yet but we are in the process of winding things down.**

**As always, enjoy yourselves. **

* * *

Jade stirred for a moment and opened her eyes. She thought she was dreaming because they were still focusing and the blinding fluorescents didn't help. What she saw standing over her couldn't be real. But as things clarified, Jade could see that her mind wasn't playing tricks on her.

"Tori?"

The Latina nodded, a single tear falling from her eye.

"It _is_ you!" Jade practically leapt from her bed to embrace her but Tori's hands hindered her progress.

"Whoa," Tori said. "Take it easy. You're still healing, remember?"

Jade leaned back and gestured for Tori to come closer. The brunette was surprised that her long hair was violently being yanked.

"What the fuck, Vega?" Jade snarled. "You left me!"

Tori closed her eyes, indicating that Jade was hurting her. "Jade, please let go…"

The raven-haired patient relented and crossed her arms. "Explain."

She began to speak, while avoiding direct eye contact.

"I…I got scared…"

"Of what?" Jade asked. "Me?"

"No, no, no, no, no" Tori pleaded. "It's not you…it's…I…lo…" _Screw it_, she thought to herself.

Tori descended upon Jade, almost getting onto the bed with her but she resisted the urge, still thinking of her injuries. Their lips met and it was slow and absolutely exquisite.

When the kiss broke, Jade's mouth was still hanging open. The only movement she did was a shifting of her jaw left to right.

"What just happened?" Jade asked.

"I think I just told you that I love you," Tori smiled brightly. After a few awkward seconds, she crunched up her face. "Um, any thoughts?"

Jade's pale, thin digits traversed the curves of Tori's tan face. "I think you weren't being clear enough," she grinned and pulled the girl in for another go.

The sound of a man clearing his throat interrupted the girls.

"Is it okay to come in or am I staying out in the hall?" the familiar male voice called out. jade was put off by it at first until she recognized it.

"Yeah," Tori responded. "It's alright."

Jade shook her head when she saw standing there was her father.

"What are you doing here, dad?"

He shrugged, "Didn't know I needed a special reason to visit my only daughter. Even being in the hospital wasn't a good enough excuse?"

Jade glared at Tori. "What did you do?"

"What makes you think I had something to do with this?"

"It reeks of you," Jade narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

"Huh," Tori playfully gasped. "You think I'm just a big buttinski?"

"The biggest." Jade turned to her dad. "You didn't come before. Mom tried to call you."

"I know," Mr. West nodded. "She did. I just thought you didn't want to see me."

"That's not true," Jade said.

Mr. West pulled up a chair and sat beside his daughter. "Jade," he took her hand. "I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"Tori and I had a long talk," he gave a typical West stare at the younger Vega.

"How did you get him to listen?" Jade asked Tori.

"I ambushed him while he was getting in his car at work and I stuffed his keys in my shirt."

"And she said that if I tried to…retrieve them…she would scream and cause a scene," Mr. West smirked. "I had no choice but to listen to her until she was done."

Jade gave Tori a face of surprise. "Wow, Vega, I'm impressed. You should be diabolical more often."

"I think I'll pass. Those keys were cold," she rubbed her chest. "Well, I will leave you two alone." Before Jade could say anything, Tori was already gone and closed the door behind her.

"Jade," her father began. "I think I'll start with I'm sorry."

"For what?" she raised an eyebrow.

"For everything. For not acknowledging your feelings; for driving you to…" he held his head in his hand, resisting the temptation to start crying.

Jade was beside herself. He simply never looked like this before; remorseful.

"Dad…" her grip on his hand grew stronger. "I didn't want you to understand. I just wanted you to not stop loving me."

"I…never stopped loving you." His face was damn serious. "Ever."

"But you acted differently toward me. Ever since I came out to you guys."

Her father nodded. "I know. It wasn't you. I never thought I would let it happen but I turned into my father. He's the grandpa you never met. When I was growing up he used to talk all about how 'those gays are doing this or that.' It was unbearable. I actually had a friend growing up who it turned out to be gay. When my father found out, he told me I could never hang out with him again."

He looked at Jade square in the eye, letting her know that he was telling the truth. "He acted like being gay or bisexual or anything that didn't click with his version of 'normal' was bad and wrong and contagious. But Tori told me that you can't help who you are. She told me that she was learning that she was bisexual and never knew it. But you were gay and you knew for a long, long time. And you went out with Beck just to…what, keep up appearances?"

Jade shook her head no. "I didn't want to disappoint you."

"I was only disappointed when I heard that you tried to kill yourself again." He sniffed. "I guess I thought your mom and I raised you stronger than that."

"I am strong but when the people who are supposed to love see me as a freak and the ones I choose leave me all alone, what _can_ I think?"

"Fair enough." He leaned in forward. "You are my daughter and this Tori girl loves you. I haven't seen much of her but I can see you must love her too."

Jade nodded.

"So, with me saying that, I want you to know that I am okay with whatever you want to do. And since Tori cares so much about you that she would hold your old man hostage, she sounds like somebody that can grow on me, too."

The two of them hug tightly like he used to when she was little on the first day of school. Jade eventually broke free from the moment to make a text and send it.

"What was that?" her dad asked.

"Oh," Jade smiled. "Just something I had to do. Couldn't wait."

* * *

Tori perked up in the waiting area when her phone chirped and she read a text from Jade.

**_"Thank you OXOXOX"_**

She tilted her head back, happy for Jade and her father.

_It's going to take time_, Tori thought. _But I will make it all up to you Jadelyn West. I hope this is a good start._


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Well, its just after midnight which means its my birthday. And I couldn't think of a better present than a review. **

**How cheesy did that sound? Whatever, its my day dammit.**

**I really think you're gonna like this one here. About two or three chapters to go. I really want to find the right note to end it all on.**

**have fun**

**;-)**

* * *

Tori revisited Jade who was lying in bed, her eyes getting heavy.

"Hey, you" she said to the sleepyhead.

"Hey," she whispered in return. "Dad's downstairs at the gift shop."

Tori smiled and sat beside Jade.

"How you feeling?" she asked.

"Tired. We must have talked for two hours. Sorry I left you out there for so long."

Tori shrugged. "It's cool. I killed most of the time beating my high score at Angry Birds."

"That was really nice of you. Bringing my dad back and all."

"It's the least I could do. And I've only begun to make up for all that time we weren't going out."

Jade pointed to the small table text to her bed on the other side. "Got something to show you." Her hand gripped a jar with a grey organ floating inside. Tori took it and squinted at its contents.

"Ew," Tori sneered. "What is this?"

"My appendix," Jade drolly responded.

"You serious?"

"Apparently, I missed the really important stuff but I did a number on my appendix. Doctor said it was safer to just remove the entire thing. A lot of people live without them anyway, I guess."

"You're really lucky," Tori handing the jar back to Jade who returned it to the table.

"It's not luck. I just don't know shit about anatomy."

Tori chuckled at the semblance of old Jade resurfacing with her bleak sense of humor.

Jade couldn't ignore the beaming Latina before her.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing. Just like how cute you are. I still can't believe we haven't done this sooner."

"Me neither." Jade thought for a moment. "Can I ask you something?"

Tori nodded.

"Why did you decide to come back? I mean, I know what made you run but what changed your mind?"

Tori rose from her chair and sat on Jade's bed, taking her hand. "The moment I first met you, I thought you were the prettiest girl but I also instantly saw that there was a wall there."

Jade thought back to their first meeting which ultimately led up to the infamous coffee incident. What followed was a long list of spats and alleged makeups. She cursed herself silently for the mean things she did to Tori in the past. All the girl wanted was to be her friend.

"You put up with a lot of my shit, Tori" Jade sadly stated.

"Truthfully, the more you pushed me away the more desirable you seemed." Tori licked her lips. "There were guys throwing themselves at me but they were pretty much the same. Then there was you, confident, smart, unique and so gorgeous I could nail you right now if you weren't laid up in pain.

"Rain check," Jade quipped. "Continue."

Tori played with Jade's palm as she went on.

"I gravitated toward guys because it was just easier but in the back of my mind, I wondered if I really did like girls that way. I mean, I must be bi because I slept with James and I enjoyed it and all and there was that time Andre and I almost kissed…"

"Qu'est-ce que c'est?"

"Oh, it was nothing. See, I dressed up as you and…"

Jade folded her arms, intrigued "Oh, yeah?"

Tori gulped and brushed back her hair, "Nothing. I'll get to that another time."

"Yeah, you will" she raised her eyebrow.

"Well, anyway" grinding her teeth, regretting that last exchange. "I thought that you were just, you know, a girl crush. Everyone gets at least one, right?"

"I can understand that."

"Those times I looked at you and Beck together, hugging and kissing; you might have thought I was checking him out but truth was I wished it was me you were holding. He seemed so calm and comfortable with you. I…I wanted that. When I found out that you tried to hurt yourself because of me, I panicked because I couldn't handle the guilt. But when my sister and everybody else found me and told me how sad you were, I knew I had to come back. If anything bad happened to you then, I knew I would be the one responsible."

Tori's eyes met Jade's.

"I couldn't bear to have ever done anything to hurt you."

Jade just stared at Tori, lost for words.

"Say something, please" Tori pleaded, on the verge of tears.

Jade ran her hand up the back of Tori's shirt, almost making her flinch. She fiddled with Tori's bra strap for almost two minutes.

"Um, front clasp" Tori winked.

"Damn."

"And just what do you think you're doing, Jade West?"

"It's the walls. They're closing in. Been here too long."

"Ah," Tori clicked her tongue. "Need the comfort of a woman."

Jade gave a sultry smirk in response.

"How long do you have to stay here?" asked Tori with a pouty lip.

"Doctor says that at least a six week recovery. Two here."

Tori sulked and brought Jade's hand to her face, getting lost in her silky skin.

"Too long," Tori sighed.

"Sorry," Jade said, regretting more so than ever what she had tried to do to herself.

"Some things," Tori began to suck Jade's fingers, one by one, accentuating every word. "Are…worth…waiting…for."

Jade's lip quivered at every warm, wet moment.

"Tori?" she asked afterward.

"What?"

"I really do hate you," she smiled.

Tori blushed. "I know"


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thanks so much for everyone's birthday wishes! You guys have all been great. I think this chapter here will be the penultimate chapter. Maybe. I don't know. I have to see how I feel after this chapter is written. **

**The really dark stuff is behind us and its ooey-gooey Jori fluff ahead. I'm just in a very good mood and want to shower nothing but sweet things on you fans.**

**As always, leave your comments or PM me. I'm never far from my iPhone so I will get you back.**

**Sorry this chapter is short but today hasn't been the best of birthdays. Don't want to sound like a lost puppy but your reviews DO cheer me up, believe it or not. **

* * *

Tori was excited that Jade finally got out of the hospital but unfortunately she was limited to bed rest. She couldn't do anything strenuous for a while. Because of the all the healing in her abdomen, movement was very restricted for Jade.

Not that she minded too much. She had the greatest caregivers. Tori would be there every day after school and into the evening. Jade's mom rearranged her schedule so that she would be home for most of the day. Her father took a much needed break from work to alternate being a regular throughout the week and being on-call if its late and Jade needs something and nobody answers their phone.

At first Jade minded the idea of being sponge-bathed but she warmed up to the idea when Tori did it. Each night, she would slowly work her way around the girl's porcelain skin, freshening her up from staying in bed all day. Tori ignored Jade's pleas to linger in certain areas because she didn't want her girl to get all hot and bothered. Their interludes were limited to kissing and very gentle cuddling.

Beck, Robbie and the rest of the gang would pop by to visit Jade and give Tori a little assistance with cooking and cleaning up. Cat would sit at the foot of the bed like a junkie going through detox. She wanted desperately to hug her best friend tightly but she knew she couldn't. not until she was better.

Little did she know about the horniness burning inside both Tori and Jade during those long weeks. But, such things have to wait.

* * *

In was second until the bell rung at the end of Sikowitz's class which signaled the end of another school day. Which also meant Tori was a little closer to seeing Jade again. She still shook her head every time, not believing how much she really missed her.

On her way out after the final tone, Tori ran into Sinjin. He slammed into a nearby locker to keep from falling.

"Oh, sorry" Tori winced. "You okay, Sin?"

"Fine." He rubbed his arm. "Wasn't the first time this happened to me. Today."

"Well…"

"Oh, Tori hold on." Sinjin fished something out of his backpack. He hands an envelope to Tori. "It's for Jade. Hope she gets better. It's signed by everybody from the school paper _and _the slap." His eyes were wide like that was supposed to be a huge deal.

Tori took the card and smiled. "I'll see that she gets it."

"So," Sinjin leaned back. "You and Jade, huh?"

"Yeah," Tori nodded.

"Totally makes sense."

"Why?" Tori asked.

"Why Jade never showed an interest in me."

Tori looked to her right, searching for a delicate retort to that.

"Uh…Yeah, let's go with that."

"You two take it easy," he smiled and left in a hurry.

Tori shook her head at the silly boy and thought Jade would've found what he said hilarious.

* * *

"Hey, hey" Tori called as she entered the West residence. Jade's mom lit up when she saw Tori. She really couldn't think of a sweeter girl for her child to be in love with.

"Tori," she hugged her. "How was school?"

"Oh, it was alright," Tori putting her back down on the sofa.

Mrs. West noticed the blue envelope in Tori's hand. "That another Get Well card?"

"Yup," Tori nodded. "Just putting it with the others."

"Someday I have to get with her about sending out thank you's."

"How she doing today?"

Her mom sat down on the sofa and invited Tori to join her. "She's doing better physically. Doctors are optimistic but emotionally…I don't know…"

"I don't understand." Tori was leaning in, listening intently.

"She told me not to tell you but she's been having some rough nightmares lately. Practically night terrors, really."

Tori couldn't believe what she was hearing but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense.

"Jade has been a little more tired," Tori mused.

"She hasn't had a decent night's sleep in over a week," her mom confirmed.

"Do you know why?"

Mrs. West shook her head.

"I'm gonna find out," Tori said determined and began to ascend the stairs.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: The penultimate chapter is here. The last one is going to be much longer and I hope very satisfying emotionally. **

**I will NOT be stopping with Jori but I will be taking a break. Maybe a one-shot for the road but after that, I need to take some much needed time off. **

**Love to hear from all of you.**

* * *

"Hey Tori," Jade sat up a little in her bed.

"Missed you, babe" Tori ran over and kissed her girlfriend.

There was an urgency in the way Tori broke off the kiss that disturbed Jade.

"What's up with you?" Jade scrunched up her face quizzically.

Tori sighed and sat beside her. "We need to talk."

"Great," Jade sighed.

"How long have you been having these bad dreams?"

Jade's face got angry and she shouted "MOM!"

All they heard in response was a car pulling out of the driveway.

"Well alright then," Tori said leaning over Jade like a cop in interrogation. "Just you and me. Now spill."

Jade snorted and folded her arms, looking away from Tori.

"Oh, we're gonna be like that?" Tori raised an eyebrow.

No answer.

"You asked for it" she smirked devilishly.

Tori got onto the bed, sitting on Jade's legs. Her back is to her face.

"What are you doing?" Jade asked concerned.

"Nothing," Tori responded with no shred of innocence. She began to remove Jade's left sock.

"Girl," Jade warned.

"You drove me to this."

"Don't, please. You know I can't move."

"Now would I take advantage of that?" Tori looked back at Jade and gave an evil wink, her hand hovering menacingly over the bare foot. Totally vulnerable.

"Tori…" Jade pointed.

"Are you gonna discuss your nightmare problem?"

Jade was going to regret the hesitation in her answer. A shockwave of tingles and jingles invaded her left foot. Her breathing became sporadic, fighting between laughing and screaming for Tori to quit it. Thinking she's had enough, Tori relents.

"OKAY VEGA! YOU WIN."

The half Latina smiled, victorious and let Jade go.

"When I can walk again," Jade's breathing evening out. "I'm kicking your ass."

Tori pouted.

"Sit," Jade pointed to the chair. She didn't trust Tori to be that close to her feet right after that episode.

"What are the dreams about, Jade?" Tori's eyes were aching for answers.

Jade was still showing reluctance in telling her.

"Jade, you told me that when you were hurting it felt worse because you felt that nobody understood. Well, I'm here and I really want to help you. If you're somehow in pain, I will be whatever you need."

The dark-haired girl's eyes saddened at that. She had always a hard time saying no to Tori, even when they were frenemies. It was more devastating a struggle when she was so in love with her.

"It's stupid," Jade whispered.

"What if I promise not to laugh or judge?" Tori asked.

"You can't promise how you're gonna feel about something before you hear it. Your reaction is automatic."

Tori took Jade's hand, rubbing it with her thumb. She knew Jade always liked it when she did that.

"Sweetheart," Tori said lovingly. "I promise to listen to everything you have to say. I promise to weigh your emotions. And I promise to stay with you until we work out a solution." Tori then leaned in closer to kiss Jade on the mouth. "I am in this for the long haul, Jade. I will never quit on you if you give me the same in return."

Jade smiled and took a deep breath.

"Okay. It started around the time you left. I felt so abandoned, that I started I having nightmares about what if Trina _hadn't_ found me that day. Every night, I saw myself dying, shivering, scared and alone." Jade looked at Tori who was now crying with her hand over her mouth. "It scared me so much that I was always afraid to go back to sleep. So that's why I've been so tired."

Tori stood up and approached Jade. The sad look in her face was too much to bear.

"That right there is what I didn't want," Jade pointed.

Suddenly, Tori pushed Jade's back until she leaned forward. She then removed the extra pillows and personally occupied the space behind Jade.

"What are you doing?" Jade asked, suspicious.

Tori grabbed hold of Jade's arms and eased her into leaning on her chest.

"I," Tori position themselves so they are both comfortable. "Am staying with you all night. If you have a bad dream, I will be right here to hug you, kiss you, whatever I can do to calm you down."

Jade took the tan hands in hers and pulled them until she was in the loving arms of the greatest girl on the planet.

"I have dreamed of this for a while, you know" Jade said, only able to see Tori through her peripheral vision.

"Me, too" Tori's lips touching Jade's ear. "Now I hope your dreams are just as sweet as that."

The girl in her arms yawned and Tori just held her tighter. After the brunette's head slumped toward her shoulder, Tori just watched her sleeping soundly until her own dissipating energy knocked her out.

* * *

It was shortly after midnight when a shrill scream snapped Tori's eyes open. She immediately felt Jade's body thrashing to and fro. She got a firm grip on the panicking girl with her arm and legs. With the one free hand, Tori stroked her hair.

"Ssshh," Tori cooed. "You're dreaming, Jade. You're dreaming. Wake up."

The screams ceased but Jade was now gasping for air. "What's going on? Wh…"

"It's alright, baby." Tori reassured her. "You were having a nightmare. It's over now."

"I'm so tired."

"It's okay. Just go back to sleep."

"I'm afraid, Tori."

Tori kissed her head. "Just sleep when you're ready. I'll be here until you do."

Jade turned her head upward to try and see Tori. "Will you hold me the whole time?"

"Of course, my Jade."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Special thanks to all of my followers, those the favorite and most of all, the reviewers. If I had to do this for the rest of my life for no pay I would be fine with that as long as I always get a kind word from great people like you!**

**This is the longest and most reviewed story I have done for the site so far. Honestly, I never thought I would write a story that would break past the 100 review barrier. So this is a momentous occasion. **

**FuckTheReaper: I know about your Internet issues but it has been hard writing for a while and not hearing from you. Hope your situation gets better and you get back with us.**

**We are at the end and I really want to hear what you all think. My last story ended in a way that sparked controversy. I know you can't please everyone but I want the majority of you to be satisfied with it. **

**Well, here we go.**

**See ya later, **

**;-)**

* * *

Daylight crept through the curtains into Jade's room. Her mom opened the door slowly and sees her daughter sleeping soundly. Grateful, she carefully closes the door without making a sound.

Tori slid out from under the bed. "Is she gone?"

Jade opened one eye on the door. "Yup."

"That was close," Tori smiled, kissing Jade's forehead and then her sweet lips.

"Tori," Jade pulled herself up more. "Did you call your parents about your staying here the night?"

"Yeah," Tori thought about it for a minute. "Pretty sure I did."

Jade handed Tori her phone which had 20 missed calls and 13 texts from her parents and even Trina.

"Oh," Tori's eyes widened. "Guess I didn't"

"You'd better get home before your mom calls the cops."

"Okay," Tori said. "Say, how did you sleep?"

"Really good," Jade smiled brightly. "You?"

Tori ran her fingers along Jade's lovely curvaceous form. "Can't complain."

"Love you," Jade said, biting her lower lip.

"Love you, too" Tori said and then kissed her.

* * *

**TWO WEEKS LATER**

"Happy Birthday, Jade" Tori handed Jade a gift in the hallway.

"What's the occasion?" she asked.

Tori bumped her shoulder, "Funny. Open it!"

Jade eyed her when Tori's giddiness would reach Cat levels. She unfurled the wrapping paper and opened the unassuming brown box.

"Tori, you didn't" she gasped.

"Uh, yeah I did!" she grinned widely.

Jade held in her hands a script bound in industry standard rings. Not just any script. Hers. There was a note written in the corner. It was a gushing appreciation for the script with a signature.

"This is Amy Philips."

Tori nodded.

"Director of _The Scissoring_."

"Looks like it," Tori poked Jade.

"How?"

"I waited in line at a horror convention and told her you were her biggest fan ever. She was just supposed to sign your script as a surprise but she actually asked to read it. So I gave it to her and she mailed it back to me last week."

Tori took a letter from her pocket and unfolded it.

"This came with it," handing it to Jade. "Amy Philips said that she liked your script so much. Best horror story she has read in months." Jade was ecstatic but what Tori said next made her turn completely white. "In fact, she loved it so much she really wants to option this."

Jade dropped her gift on the floor and backed up against her locker aghast.

"She," fanning herself. "Amy Philips wants to make a movie out of _my_ script?"

Tori points to a business card stapled to the offer letter. "I set up a meeting at 4:00 a week from Friday. Does this make me your manager or something?"

Jade slammed the Latina against the metal lockers and kissed her deeply. She wrestled with Tori's tongue while lifting up her thigh.

"Oh, your something alright."

* * *

Adrian put his hand on the shoulder of a shy boy of about fifteen.

"Would you like to tell everyone your name?"

Not looking up, the boy answered "Tim…Hawkes."

"Hello, Tim" the support group responded in an upbeat tone.

"Could you tell everyone what brought you here?"

"Um," the teen fidgeted in his chair. "About a month ago I came home from school, went up to my room and tried to hang myself."

The frankness of someone this young saying something so horrific just made the room fall silent.

"That's terrible, Tim" Adrian looking at the boy sadly. "What made you want to end it all?"

"I came out to my parents and they were supportive but…the kids at school…were not. That day, before I…you know…three of them cornered me and beat me and kicked me. They called me a fag a and other terrible things. It hurt so much but my body didn't black out. I wished and wished for this powerful sleep to shut myself down. Just so I wouldn't feel the pain anymore. It's pretty stupid…"

"I don't think it's stupid," a voice spoke out.

Everyone looked at the usually meek Jade West sitting down in a chair.

"Jade," Adrian smiled. "So nice to have you with us. I heard bad things…"

"Yeah," she nodded. "It did get pretty bad but…"

"You being here is what's important." Adrian tiled his head. "Did you…have something to share?"

"I do." She turns to the newcomer. "Tim, I know it seems hard right now and I'm sure it's going to continue to suck for a while but…" Jade turned back and saw Tori smiling through the small window in the door. "It does get better. All you have to do is not let yourself quit before it has a chance to. And there is nothing wrong with you. You're lucky because there are people in your life that agree. Some go their whole lives with others who don't understand. Believe me, I know what you're feeling inside."

Tim lifted his up to see the girl who was talking to him. "Did you…"

"Find someone?" Jade then pointed outside the circle toward the door. "See that girl outside with brown eyes warmer than a cup of coffee?"

Tim nodded.

"I love her more than anything in the world and surprise she loves me back. That girl right there would do anything for me and she makes me more powerful than even I thought I could be."

"You think I could, too?" Tim asked.

"Everyone deserves someone like her," she turns back to give the brown-haired girl on the other side of the glass a wink.


End file.
